Forbidden Apple Part One
by ImagineI
Summary: Almost losing an anchor in life is a traumatic experience. When Akihiko's helping hand appears, Misaki is more than confused. Temptation lingers in the distance as an unexpected realisation settles in both of them, but who will make the first bite?
1. The Violet Eyes

Hey Guys- This is my new story... if any of you want something shorter, I wrote another story (A drop of whisky in the wind) under another pen-name, Gypchi. I hope some of you will read it ^.^

I wanted to explain my chosen title for this story before I begin- Forbidden Apple; an apple is traditionally put on a teacher's desk and that hints at the teacher-student relationship Misaki and Akihiko are edging towards. Men have an Adam's Apple, so there's the reference to the story surrounding two men. Then, most importantly, it was, allegedly, the apple which Eve took a bite of. Forbidden Fruit...

Anyway, guys, I really hope you enjoy this story. I'm loving writing it!

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**Part One- Bite Of The Apple**

_Honor. Wealth in happiness. Kindness to others. To not be assuming.  
Four lessons, only four, but they meant something… mean something. Before my parents' death, those four rules for life were bestowed upon me, along with the knowledge that I was loved. But could a child still be loved once the people loving them are gone? I didn't know…  
_  
"Misaki? Misaki! Are you paying attention?!"

"Huh? Oh, yes, sorry. I-I was just-" But Misaki did not have enough time to answer his friend completely, as another voice interrupted him. Deeper. Clearer. Unnervingly quiet.

"Takahashi? Is that your family name, boy?" Never, in all his wildest hopes, did Misaki think Usami Akihiko would speak to him. The tall, silver haired man was a professor at his school, sure, but it was widely known that the almost ethereal tutor only spoke to the most accomplished of students. Misaki was satisfactory, not accomplished and yet still, here was the successful author and academic asking him a question.

All these thoughts crawled at snail speed in Misaki's head as all feeling absconded him and it took the eighteen year old at least a minute to realise he'd be staring, mouth open, at his questioner.

"Y-Yes, sir." Misaki took that moment, foolishly, to look into Usami's eyes and was all at once lost in those blossoming violet irises. He felt a nervous blush creep up his neck and over his cheeks.

"Pardon?" Usami Akihiko spoke, his voice still so quiet. He rested the side of his body, with its broad shoulders and long, strong arms, against the open door of his office and continued to stare back at Misaki. The boy noticed how a pen in the teacher's white shirt pocket was leaking, but could not find the confidence or words to explain this to him, so he repeated himself, louder this time.  
"Yes, sir. I'm the brother of-"

"Takahiro, yes, I know." _His voice is so cold_, Misaki thought, _did I say something wrong?_ Misaki felt his breath catch in his throat and, panic-stricken at the intensity forming in Usami's eyes, stared down at the floor._ Merciless floors_, the boy remarked to himself as he saw the upside down reflection of Usami in the highly polished ground. Misaki found his eyes trailing over the reflection of the man's long, brown-trousered legs and for an instant thought he heard the tutor laugh, but when he looked back up again, the man's face was unchanged. Pale. Tired. Almost translucent. _Handsome…? No! He's a man, Misaki!_, Misaki scorned himself, grabbing his left elbow with his right hand over his chest. The boy shocked himself as he felt how cold and clammy his hands were against his skin and tried fruitlessly to unlock his gaze from Usami's. _Why isn't he saying anything? Why is he just staring at me?_

Surprisingly, Misaki found the silence quite calming after a while and after moments of chastising himself for wanting to look into those eyes, he gave up and observed the purplish colours. And, Usami continued to stare back at the boy, his expression a mix between boredom and icy disdain.

"Right," Usami finally spoke, kicking the door wedge from under the door and striding into his office as the door swung closed. Misaki felt like the man had ripped something from his eyes as he had looked away so abruptly.

He sighed, blinking wide eyed at the closed office door, spotting shelves and shelves of messy files and papers alongside neatly piled stacks of important looking books.

Reluctantly, he glanced to his right and noticed his friend had disappeared, along with the babble of other students going to their lessons. By the clock on top of the blue double doors in front of him, Misaki saw he was three minutes late for his next class.

He shook his head, trying to shake himself out of his daze and was surprisingly pleased by how clear his breathing was and by the tight, happy feeling in his throat.

Still in an unfamiliar daydream, Misaki walked forward, arm outstretched to push the door open in front of him, but his eyes stayed fixed on the office as he passed it. As he noticed Usami Akihiko sat behind his desk, his legs resting on the desk, and saw how peaceful he looked with his eyes closed and the cigarette in his hand, his head bashed into the wall next to the door.

"Ow!" Misaki cried, instinctively, rubbing his temple as he checked to see if the teacher had seen his mishap. Nope. Still sitting peacefully, cigarette hand leaning against his chin… _Lesson!_ Misaki's brain reminded him and, hurriedly as he could, he rushed through the doors and up the stairs to his next period, the Violet eyes in his mind…

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Please comment and review- I'd be really grateful for any constructive feedback... any tips are welcome and I hope you guys all enjoyed the first chapter =)


	2. Sexy, Even

_A normal life. That's all I ever asked for. Normality. Things that are usual.  
So, what does karma send me? An unattainable. A tease. A test? A student. Restraint find a slot for me some time soon, please._

Usami Akihiko glanced down at the entry form in his free hand as he took a small suck on his cigarette. Trills of grey smoke trailed over the words on the page as he exhaled and unfamiliarly desperate thoughts prodded his mind.

_**Name: Takahashi, Takahiro.  
Major: Economics & Sociology.  
Siblings: Takahashi, Misaki.**_

A small slip of honesty, the page fluttered between his forefinger and thumb as a sweet smelling breeze skipped through his slightly open office window.

So, now he knew the person behind the name: Misaki. Akihiko had stared countless times at the slip of paper so as to feel somehow closer to Takahiro and more times than not, his eyes had slanted just an inch enough to see the other name. But he'd never really taken it into account. Now, he was forced to.

How had he not seen the boy before? How had he not heard the name yelled in the hallways before? _Why should this matter to me?_ Akihiko thought to himself. A blotted image of the boy banging his head on the wall outside his office formed in his mind and made Akihiko smile, subconsciously.

The boy seemed so innocent. Naïve. But, somehow, at the same time there was an air of tragedy about him. Something crushing. _Ah. Of course. How stupid of me_. _His parents were killed in that car crash._ Akihiko's hand balled into a tense fist as he remembered the pain Takahiro had gone through.

There was another memory trying to push into Akihiko's mind and, restlessly, he let it through. A very, very faint picture of a small, slight boy with a head of feathery, brown hair flickered, as though illuminated by candlelight, in his mind's eye- Misaki as a young child. For several seconds, all Akihiko could think of was the young boy and with a touch of affection he recalled how fondly Takahiro had spoken of his younger brother to him. After Takahiro had moved to America with his new wife, however, hardly any conversations had been had between the two men and a distinct sense of starvation had begun to stroke, perversely, around Akihiko's body.

Well, that youngster had certainly grown up. Still slight, the boy had grown to an average height and had maintained his feathery, brown hair, though it was slightly thicker than when he had been younger. Again, a small smile spread on Akihiko's face as he saw in his head the small nose the boy had but the smile vanished as he gritted his teeth on recalling another feature: those eyes. Big and chocolate brown. So open to seeing new things. He'd been so bloody entranced by them, that he'd called on his major defence: acting like he was unconcerned and bored. He'd acted like a stupid bloody teenager. He felt like one, actually… heart pounding…

The boy… oh, what else was he supposed to call him? He was ten years his senior. _Twenty-eight isn't that old, though,_ Akihiko comforted himself, stubbing out his cigarette in a makeshift tinfoil ashtray.

"No, I have to get the bus home, I've got homework!" Was that Misaki shouting outside? As though his body was in autopilot, Akihiko stood up from his chair and walked around his big teddy bear- a "comfort blanket" item from childhood days of secluded, albeit pampered materialistically, days- and some stacks of books. He got to his window and looked down, hands on the windowsill.

Yup. There he was, calling over to a slightly taller, blonde kid. Akihiko's eyebrows pushed up slightly as Misaki protested determinedly against going out clubbing for the night.

"I've got to get these grades!" Misaki yelled over to the other boy and Akihiko noticed how Misaki tugged at the bottom of his green, short-sleeved shirt as though embarrassed. A tidal wave of sympathy veered up in Akihiko's chest. He hated himself for it, but he was suddenly very eager to help the boy. He was just so damn- _No, don't think of him like that. He's a student… Takahiro's brother!_ Akihiko criticised himself. But still, he was searching for a way in his mind that he could help the kid…

"Oh fine," shouted the blond kid, "Do you want a lift home, anyway?"  
"Wow, that would be really helpful," Misaki beamed. _Oh God, _Akihiko thought, his lips parting in shock, _what a cute smile… sexy, even… stop it!_ Then, another voice in his mind piped up, with a much more sly tone. _You don't have to stop it. You're not doing anything wrong, Akihiko. The boy is sexy. Accept it_. "But I wouldn't want to be a burden on you." _And he's bloody selfless. He's beautiful. Fucking beautiful. Hah. I never use swear words. Must find another word…_ As Akihiko subconsciously ran through his vocabulary for another word, he felt his mobile buzz in his trouser pocket. _Takahiro calling… me?_

"I'm taking you home, Misaki. The bus isn't here for another half an hour. Where do you live?" The blond yelled in the background. In the corner of his eye, he saw Misaki move towards the blond, speaking at the same time.  
"Just behind the multiplex next to The Rose Gardens." _Multiplex! Rose Gardens! _

Akihiko flipped open his ringing mobile as he realised how close he and Misaki lived.  
"Takahiro, how are you?" he asked, unable to stop the smile spreading on his face as he heard the man speak. He saw the black haired guy in his mind along with those glasses…  
"Really well, thank you, Akihiko. Listen, this is really rushed and I'm sorry." Akihiko's smile disappeared as he heard the anxiety in the man's voice and watched Misaki and the blond converse by the school gates, presumably waiting for a ride. "But I heard you're now teaching at the high school and see, Misaki goes there and he has no other family there and I need to get a message to him-"  
"Calm down, Takahiro. What can I do?" _Here's your chance, Akihiko. _

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Hey, I hope you guys are enjoying it so far- don't worry, -things- will happens, -things- I'm fairly sure you guys are all waiting for. I hope you comment and review, anything constructive is welcome. Hope You Enjoyed =)


	3. When The Teacher Spoke To The Student

_I'd heard from a lot of people, on TV, in books etc., that eye contact is very important. Apparently, without it, we wouldn't feel half as much connection with people. I understood how that theory had come to pass and put my faith in the fact that when someone liked me they would look into my eyes and talk to me straight; talk to me true. But eyes didn't have to be the ones we saw through. For the blind, for example, their sight could be channeled through their sense of touch… I hadn't had the luxury of being on the receiving end of either._

_Don't get me wrong, I'd been out with girls before… ok, girl, but it counts. It does count…_

"Takahashi." Misaki turned his head around as a voice called out his family name, quietly and calmly… and then there came the distinctive tone of coldness.

Striding towards him with definite purpose was Usami Akihiko. Tall. Broad shouldered. Deeply furrowed eyebrows…

He was looking right at Misaki, so intensely that it felt as though Usami-sensei saw only him… like his friend didn't even exist.

"S-Sir?" came Misaki's small, nervous voice as he turned his body round completely so as not to be rude. Usami Akihiko walked right up to him and when the teacher spoke to the student, he had to look down in order to keep eye contact. _They're like flower petals those eyes... so purple- stop it! Be a man!_

For the longest moment, Usami Akihiko did nothing but stare down at him and for a second, Misaki worried that the teacher was noticing the contact lenses in his eyes, hiding his natural green colour. _Contact lenses aren't allowed in school! Please don't notice, please don't notice, please don't noti-_

"I don't know if you know this," Usami Akihiko spoke, so low he was almost whispering, "but your brother and I used to study together." A second passed as Misaki wondered why this piece of information was particularly important; he was stunned, of course, but there was a tone in the man's voice that hinted this information was more than random.

A soft, chilly wind blew through the tall, green-leafed trees in the distance, stroking through Usami-sensei's silver hair. Misaki was so hypnotised by how lovely the man's hair was, that he didn't realise the man was speaking again.

"Takahashi? Takahashi!"

"Sir!"

"Something has happened. Like I said-" _How much have I not heard?_ Misaki asked himself. Then, _concentrate! Don't miss any more!_ "I'm the only one here in Japan that Takahiro trusts to talk to you." _I have a connection to Usami Akihiko… Usami Akihiko, youngest ever winner of the Naomori Award…_ "…Crash. He wants you to stay with someone. He doesn't want you to be alone." _Crash?_

"Misaki! I'm so sorry… would you still like a lif-" Misaki's friend started, scratching the back of his head nervously. But Usami Akihiko interrupted right on cue.

"Misaki will no longer require your help. Go home." _He said my name… why did that make my neck tingle? Why does he sound so harsh… Crash, he said crash… Should I ask him to repeat? But-_ "Takahashi, did you hear me?" _And now his voice is warmer…_

"Um… No, sir." Usami Akihiko looked down at Misaki with such a gaze of compassion that Misaki felt all his nerves swarm through his veins and vanish through his pores.

"Your brother and his wife have been in a car crash. Neither of them have been killed. Your brother is in hospital, though and-"


	4. As Long As He Wants

_Catch. Instinct. Wow. To have him in my arms. Stunning. He falls forward into my ready arms and I catch my breath… worried. Actually worried. My eyes stare forward, shocked. Somehow I knew he'd react like this. Vacant at first, then gone. I needed to get him out of here. But selfish Akihiko wanted to keep him here, in this spot. Foolish Akihiko wanted to get this other blond runt away from here. Stupid Akihiko wanted the boy against his chest so that he could hold him; show him someone was here for him. Here for him._

"Misa-" Akihiko glared at the blond boy and jutted his chin out to the ready car on the side of the road.

"He's fine. Go home." The blond nodded, sent an anxious look to Misaki before jogging over the road and getting into his car. The car sped away. _That mother's no doubt asking that petulant boy whether or not I was harassing him… who gives a fuck. The boy. That's what matters._ _Need to get him to the car._ "Takahashi?" _That's right, Akihiko, keep the distance. He's a student._ _Scandal is too much for the boy now…_

"Y…yes. Sir." Akihiko looked down and his eyes fixed on the soft profile of the boy's face. His lips were parted and his eyes were watering and _God, I need to get him somewhere safe._

"Come on. Come with me. You can-" _You're actually going to say it, Akihiko? Go on then… normally takes you much longer than this…_ _Yes. I'm saying it. He can._ "Trust me."

"Wh-wh… but…" _He's not going to move, Akihiko. He's in shock. Carry him. No! No confusion for him… Carry him. No, I can't, he can manage… he can… _"I-I want…" _He's stuttering. He's lost. He needs security. Pick. Him. Up_.

"Takahashi, can you walk?" Usami Akihiko felt the boy tremble in his arms and he felt the ever-growing tower of affection in him for the boy begin to increase faster. He was holding onto his forearms so tightly. _He can hold on as long as he wants. I'll be here. Stop getting so attached! No. No. I'll. Be. Here. _

The kid deliberated for a long moment, his eyes almost overfilling with tears and something stabbed Akihiko right in the chest, _right in the heart_, as the boy shook his head and closed his eyes. Two small tears traced over the boy's silky skin. That did it for Akihiko.

With one, swift move, he had the boy cradled in his arms and was walking so fast to his car that the turning heads of students were blurs against the corners of his vision. He was on a mission.

When he got to his car, he balanced the boy in one arm, got his keys from his pocket and pressed the button. The lights on the car showing that it had unlocked had barely flickered before the boy was in his car seat, seatbelt on. _He'll be safe in this car,_ was all Akihiko could think. _Red sports car. Nothing will hit us. Us… Stop. Getting. So bloody attached!_

"Sir-"

"Usami-sensei, please." _He has to at least call me a name. Akihiko would be letting him way too close. But then… I'm not calling him by his first name…_ Of course not. The first time that name has properly passed through his lips it had felt like all was well with the world- all the jagged edges of the puzzle had become smooth. But it had been sent to that blond. Not the boy. Akihiko didn't know whether he'd be able to survive saying the name directly to the kid…

"U-Usami-sensei. Where are we going?" _Don't look at the kid_, Akihiko thought to himself as he strapped himself in.

"My home." It scared Akihiko how simple and logical it was to take him there. _Keys in the ignition_…

"I want to see my brother…" the boy whispered, thumb on the ejector button of his seatbelt. Akihiko put his hand on top of the boy's small one and squeezed slightly.

"I'll get you off school tomorrow and pay for your train fee. Your brother has come to Japan. He wanted to surprise you." _Foot on the accelerator. _

"W-why are you doing this?" the boy sniffed, his soft voice gaining a slightly high-pitched quality. _Reverse the car, Akihiko_. "Usami-sensei?" _No words._


	5. Evaded

_And here it comes again. Disgustingly familiar numbness. Takahiro… is he okay? No. No. No.  
He's been in a car crash.  
Please no. Keep him alive. Brother…  
Even in America, he's my anchor. I need to make him proud. Need to show him how his hard work had paid off.  
I'm in… a car. Usami Akihiko's car. Car. We're going to-_

"I don't want you to worry. This car is bullet proof. Nothing will hit us. You are safe. You know your brother would not have put you in danger." _Is he reading my mind? Or am I talking out-loud again? I did that when Mum & Dad… _"I want you to understand something. I know it's hard to listen right now. Can you listen for a moment?"

_Make a sound, Misaki. Hum out a yes._

"Good. You will be staying with me until your brother comes to get you. If you need _anything_, you ask. Understood?"

_So generous… why is he being so generous? Why should I be anything to him?_

Misaki stared forward at the fast moving scenery through the windscreen, the colours of the world outside merging into one big gloop of grey.

"Right there- is that your building?" _Turn your head and look, Misaki. It's the least you can do._ _Right. Now hum out another yes._ "Ok. What's your apartment number?" _Can't form words. Oh God. Come on! Answer him! Words! Misaki! Words! But he's reaching forward for my bag…_

Usami Akihiko reached down in front of Misaki and put his hand inside the side pocket, taking out a key. A tag on the side read '15B'.

"I'm going to your apartment and getting some of your clothes. Do you mind? Is there… Is there anything else you need? Wash stuff will be at mine." Misaki noticed how fast Akihiko was breathing even though the man hadn't been running. "Shake or nod your head. That's all you need to do." _Shake._ "Right."

Misaki's head moved ever so slightly as the man got out of the car and strode in those long paces to his building. _Must repay him, somehow…_ As Usami Akihiko walked through the open archway, Misaki leaned his head against the beige leather of the car seat. He watched the tall figure walk into the courtyard and head to a blue door- one of a line of doors on the right hand side.

His chest shook as more tears streaked down his cheeks. _You should be with Takahiro, get out of the car…_ But Misaki had no energy. All vitality evaded him.

He tucked his legs to his chest, eyes suddenly heavy. His throat felt uncomfortably tight and the middle of his back was becoming sensitive, like it always did when he was upset. He made sure his shoes didn't touch the seat and felt his neck drop forward as the smell of smoke and lavender embraced his senses.

_Eyes closed. Shoulders falling. Must say thank you._


	6. Fierce

_He's safe. That'll have to do for now. Happiness is too much to ask of him. But I will try. Is there any food he'll want? I can't cook.  
Those clothes I picked up were pretty grubby.  
New Clothes.  
That apartment was so small. He deserves better. He'll have a study room…  
New Home.  
Should I check on him? No… he should be fine in that room. He'll be warm.  
New._

Akihiko lay back on his long, blue sofa, resting his head on a firm square pillow. He raised his knees and put an arm behind his head as his other hand fell automatically to his mouth. One small suck of the cigarette and a long, melancholy puff later and Akihiko was itching to go and check on the boy.

When he'd gotten back to the car, he'd been asleep and the sight of the redness under his eyes from where he'd been crying added to the curled position of his body in _his_ car had set his already racing heart into overdrive. _Don't wake him up,_ he had thought. But the boy had been in such a state of comatose that not even the inevitable movement of Akihiko carrying him up the stairs to his home had awoken him.

_Why does my chest feel so tight? _Then in one fatal blow it hit him. He'd felt this before. When he was younger… _A crush? How?_

Not even with the handfuls of guys he'd been with had this feeling overtaken him. It was with such a definite, intense care that Akihiko knew how much he would do for the sleeping boy in that room upstairs.

It had felt like something had been yanked from under his ribcage as he had put the boy on the bed and for the minutes he had stood over him, watching him, again the serene feeling of something being fixed had fallen over him like a light blanket.

As he reached the end of his third cigarette of the night, Akihiko sat up and leaned over, elbows resting on his knees. There must be something more he could do for the kid… Akihiko's eyes widened as the situation properly sunk in.

Takahiro had been in a car crash. _Eyes are stinging now.  
_Takahiro had trusted _him_ to look after his brother. _Sniff._  
Takahiro's younger brother was in pain. _Hands now in fists_.  
M…Misaki was here, in Akihiko's home. _A tear forming on the edge of the rim of my eye._

"U-Usami-san?" At some point that voice was going to penetrate into his body so much that he would fall to his knees in bliss every time he heard it. _Turn around and say his name, Akihiko._

"M-" _Can't say it? Coward._ "What is it?" The boy stood at the top of the white stairs, the shoes Akihiko had slipped off his feet now back on.

"I need to go and see my brother. Thank you-" _His voice is so fierce; so determined. _"For everything. But I need to go."

Akihiko stole his eyes away from the boy's slight figure, shunning the fantasies of carrying him into his room and caressing all his worry away.

"I'll take you," Akihiko said, standing up abruptly and grabbing his car keys from the low table next to him.

It felt like time was moving so slowly and yet so unbelievably fast.

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GUYS- I hope you're not bored by this, but I really need to make this story gradual. Any comments would be brilliant and please read on, this is going to be a longer story than most and I really hope to develop a fraction of this couple's life together. Thank You For Reading So Far.


	7. Blushed

Ok Guys, this chapter is well worth reading and I'm hope you'll enjoy it near the end... hopefully =) Thank you =D

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_It had taken me fifteen minutes to talk to Takahiro, my first love. But even that was being questioned; that boy was renewing every doubt I'd formed. He was slowly but surely plunging me into a whole different version of reality and a sixth sense told me that a future with him would be purer. _

Akihiko sat in the waiting area of the big, white-walled hospital and tried very hard not to inhale the antiseptic yet urine like smell that had invaded the place.

Takahiro had broken a leg and glass from the windscreen had crashed through and sliced under his left eye. Aside from that, he was relatively fine. His wife was badly bruised and was covered in small scratches. Takahiro had leaned over his love in order to protect her.

_That's one of the reasons I loved him: his selflessness_. It brought an odd sort of comfort to Akihiko to realise the past tense of his feelings for the man who was now bandaged up and sitting up in a hospital bed.

It had taken two hours for Akihiko to drive to the hospital and all the while, he'd formed a greater adoration for the care Misaki had for his brother.

Taking a sip from the instant coffee one of the nurses had brought him, Akihiko stood up and walked through the polished-floor hallways, back to Takahiro's private room. Something instinctual was rising from his stomach and up through his torso and with a blank expression on his face, he leaned against the wall next to the door of the room.

Misaki was sitting next to the bed and Akihiko could see, through the grey blinds against the window, that Takahiro had fallen asleep.

A nurse pushed passed him and opened the door, bustling through into the room with a very annoying air of purpose.

"End of visitor ti-" _No way! He will not be interrupted because those stupid regulations. Help. Must Help. How… Ah._

"Hello." The short, chubby nurse turned round at Akihiko's greeting, caught off guard by the charm in his voice. "We're so grateful for what you're doing for Takahiro. Thank you."

Misaki had looked up at the short scene between Akihiko and the nurse and, to Akihiko's delight, had smiled in an albeit unsurprised manner.

The nurse, stunned by the handsome appearance of the famous author, blushed and smiled, batting her eyelids.

"Oh… we, um, do our best. Is there anything else we can do, Mr Usami?"

Releasing one of his fool-proof smiles, Akihiko looked over the nurse's shoulder at Misaki, who shook his head.

"No. But thank you, all the same."

"Yes, thank you," Misaki murmured, melting the iciness in Akihiko's chest.

Completely forgetting her purpose in the room, the nurse nodded and smiled, putting her hands in a prayer position in front of her chest as she bustled back out of the room.

"Akihiko, thank you." Takahiro turned his head, his black hair damp against his pillow.

Inevitably hypnotised a little by the sound of Takahiro's gentle voice, Akihiko shook his head. It was surreal to think that he'd been staring at Misaki in the hallway only this morning. Now he was near the middle of Tokyo, with Misaki, visiting the man he'd harboured an undeniable love for.

"Any time," he replied, his body frozen to the spot. He felt so stupid standing there, obviously interrupting important time between the two brothers. He tucked his hands into the pockets of his long black coat. But his doubts were quenched as the limp figure of Takahiro spoke again.

"Please, take Misaki home now-"

"No, Takahiro, I'm staying he-"

"Misaki, you have school. I'll be fine in a week and I'll come and collect you from Usami Akihiko's then. Do me proud. Please." Takahiro gave a comforting smile to the stubbornly expressioned boy.

Misaki's shoulders dropped and reluctantly, he nodded, standing up. Misaki walked passed Akihiko, looking up at him as he did so with a very frustrated look, which the man could only find extremely cute. As Misaki exited the room, Takahiro spoke one last time.

"Keep him safe, Akihiko. I'm so sorry for imposing-"

"It's not problem at all," Akihiko assured him, the wheels in his head turning. A week… a whole week! _Oh what could be done in a week, I wonder… Behave! It can't be done. It's not illegal, though, Akihiko._

Two hours later, after several black winding roads lit only by looming streetlights, and both Akihiko and Misaki had returned to the apartment. Exhausted.

Akihiko parked the red sports car in the garage and made sure Misaki understood he was welcome in his home. The boy seemed much more relaxed now he had seen his brother and this more than comforted Akihiko.

Yawning, Misaki walked into Akihiko's apartment behind him. The flat spanned out over two widely planned floors and contained one huge living room that was partnered with a smaller kitchen, which was not partitioned by any walls. There were more than two other rooms on the first level. White stairs in the living room led up to a landing that held more than five separate rooms, along with a large bathroom. To Akihiko it was home. To Misaki it was luxury beyond belief.

"You should go to bed. You need sleep." Akihiko smiled to himself at the already routine sound of that command.

"You're right… Um… Thank yo-"

Akihiko turned around at Misaki's pause.

Misaki was standing over the table, a book in his hand and his eyes wide. One of his eyebrows twitched.

"Um-" Akihiko began, but a more than unexpected yell exploded from the boy.

"Is this my brother! This is… This is…" Akihiko could only interpret the boy's expression as a mix between disgust and horror. "BOY'S LOVE MANGA?!"

Akihiko's face morphed between shock and a sly, sexy grin.

"Yes. It is."

"How- How could you-"

"Because I want to." Sly and sexy turned to defensive and cool.

"You! You! Bastard!"

_Oh. Okay then. I just drove you to see your brother. Gave you a place in my home. This is my repayment? _

"Bastard!" Misaki shouted again, brandishing the book at Akihiko.

_Oh, so firey, Misaki. Well, let's fight fire with ice then, shall we, boy? Let's._

"You're gonna pay for this!"

_Oh contraire, petite one. You shall pay. Let the games begin._


	8. The Nerve Of This Man

_THIS is what Takahiro is leaving me with? This! How? Why? And their siblings: What, When and Where!  
How could he think this would be safe?  
Why didn't he know anyone else in Japan to leave me with?  
What was I going to do?  
When was the soonest- a week was too long- I could get out of here?  
Where had Takahiro's sanity gone?_

"Pay? What for?" Usami Akihiko looked at me from the doorway, expression disapproving and bored. _Ok, so he's handsome, doesn't mean he can just_- "What have I done wrong?"

"Wrong? Wrong! _This!_ This is wrong. Does my brother know about this?"

"No. Why should he? His name isn't mentioned, merely his appearance." _How could he be so blasé about this? Ugh, rich, stupid, probably spoilt as a young child- _"What offends you so deeply, oh young protector of justice?" _Interrupting my thoughts AND mocking me? Arrgh! Ok… Ok, calm down, no one has the power to interrupt your thoughts_-"Come on then. Speak. Teach me the correct ways of the world." _Except this guy._

Misaki opened his mouth, arm still outstretched and hand holding onto the spine of the erotically covered book. He blinked twice and suddenly all the exhaustion that had piled up in him during the day evaporated. Every ounce of worry for other matters zapped away like a TV switched off. Misaki took one, deep breath and yelled,

"It's exploitive!"

Akihiko took off his coat and hung it on the stand next to the phone.

"And your backing for this is?"

"Takahiro's being used in this book! I couldn't give a damn about what the book's about or the… the…" he searched for the word. "_Orientation_ of the characters! The point is-" _Why is Usami Akihiko walking towards me?_ "Is that… um…" _Why is he walking so slowly?_ "He's being used… incorrectly-" _Work on your grammar, Misaki!_ "For your own profit. So…" _He's standing right in front of me. He's not saying a word. Why? He looks so… calm…_ "So… So…"

"You're telling me the only thing that offends you is the fact that your brother's appearance is being used in this book…"

"Written by you! God, do you have feelings for him or something?" Misaki's whole body froze as Usami Akihiko's eyes narrowed and a deathly long pause filled the small gap between their bodies.

"I did. Yes."

"I- Oh." All of a sudden and much to his annoyance, Misaki began to feel sorry for the man standing in front of him. Plus, an unnerving sense of guilt was worming its way around Misaki's mind; he really shouldn't be acting so irresponsibly, disrespectfully and ungratefully. But the nerve of this man, to stand here so cool and full of himself! _Ugh!_ It got right to the core of him. "Then you shouldn't be-"

"So," Usami Akihiko interrupted, voice a little louder and a smile curling his _soft… lips… so… No! He's a man!_ "You're actually going to stand here and tell me what I should and shouldn't do? When I'm your superior; when I'm a teacher at your school, which means I could make _you_ pay for this disrespect there; when I'm your Samaritan; when I'm your guardian." The way the man purred out the last word made the hairs on the back of Misaki's neck stand on end and for a horrifying moment, he found himself captivated by the fit physical form shown by the slightly tight, black t-shirt Usami Akihiko was wearing; by the curve of the muscles in both his arms; by his hands… so… long… _No! Say thank you for your hospitality and go to bed! Now!_

Eyes closed and a definite anger rippling through his body, Misaki bent his head and spoke as clearly as he could. He concentrated very hard on not letting his voice waver.

"I appreciate you allowing me to stay in your home. I would return to my apartment, but I promised my brother I would stay here and so I will. I wont make any mess and any I do will be cleared away as soon as possible. In return for my stay here, as I have no money-"

"You don't have to pay rent," Usami Akihiko sighed. Misaki opened his eyes and realised Usami Akihiko was halfway climbing up the white stairs, presumably to his room.

"Hey! Sicko! I'm trying to grateful here so-"

Usami Akihiko turned around on the stair he was on, bent over the banister slightly and assumed a very daring, evil expression. It made Misaki's breath shake with the power of it, but the boy stood his ground.

"Try harder," the man contended, voice as quiet and cool as when he had first spoken to Misaki in the hallway, that morning. _How weird to think that was this morning… but I bet it's already early morning now… pay attention!_ Misaki gritted his teeth and tried to glare back at the man, but his lip trembled slightly. Usami Akihiko smiled, eyes still glaring. Misaki decided to hit him with all he had.

"Look- just because you have these perverse feelings for my brother that he doesn't reciprocate and won't, it doesn't mean you can get back at him by painting him in a daydream story! Because that's all it is!" The spite of his words made Misaki hate himself. But, at the same time, he wanted to stand up for his brother's rights and he knew he wasn't going to win a physical fight with the man. So this was all he had. Usami remained glaring sourly at Misaki throughout. "You think you're so high and mighty and you parade around school like-" Misaki's conscious was yelling in his mind: _Show some respect! This is not how you speak to your superiors, lest of all a complete stranger! _But another voice, one Misaki hardly heard in his head, spoke up bitterly: _He's being a complete bastard; give him all you've got!_ "Like you…"

But Misaki had run out of time- Usami Akihiko had raised his eyebrows at the word 'school' and continued up the stairs, leaving Misaki standing there like a fool. For a millisecond, Misaki admired the way Usami Akihiko's silver hair gleamed even in the artificial light of the large, circular lights hanging from the high ceiling. Then he shook himself out of it.

"Hey! Don't walk away from me again!" _Don't you dare storm up to him, this is his house! Show some- No, _intervened the bitter voice, _this guy needs to know what's right and what's wrong.  
_

Misaki did storm up those stairs, hard and fast as he could, and when he got to the white door Usami Akihiko had walked through, which was the middle door on the landing, he took another deep breath. _Right, _he thought, _let's get this over with_.

"You!" With this word, Misaki pushed open the door, eyes scrunched closed as he yelled. "Do you realise how you're disrespect-" Akihiko's cold, monotone voice yet again interrupted him.

"Your brother has always been a great friend to me and throughout our friendship I have always endeavoured to do the best for him. I would help him study, stand up for him against assholes at school and make sure he was always okay financially wise. As I'm sure you've already deduced, mastermind, I'm not poor. So, if ever your brother was in need of money, I'd happily lend it. See, apparently, he needed to support some wretched little kid brother- you, I assume. When he married that woman, it hurt. Suddenly he didn't need my help. You wouldn't understand what I felt, you're too young, but I realised then that the only unselfish release I had aside from drinking and smoking myself into a pitiful mess, was to write about him. _Writing_ is my release. I have not misrepresented your brother at all. I have not, as I'm quite sure you were about to say, disrespected him. I have simply kept from him feelings that have grown over a vast period of time and in an attempted rehabilitation, written about him in order to drain him from my system. So, if you wouldn't mind, try and at least learn a few solid facts before you make assumptions. From what I've heard from the teachers at school, you're not always the best at research. The proof lies here, I see."

Misaki didn't like him touching on his weaknesses at school. Even so, what Usami Akihiko had done concerning Takahiro was actually pretty… respectful. _Damn. I've only been speaking with him a day and yet somehow this guy stumps me every time. I thought he was an arrogant bastard and he invited me into his home. I thought he was a pervert- turns out he was actually protecting my brother from knowledge that would only have worried him because Takahiro would have worried. Usami Akihiko knows that…_

Fists still clenched by his side, Misaki slowly opened his eyes. Stunned into silence. What he saw didn't help unstick his tongue from the roof of his mouth.

The room was unlit and shadowy and it seemed like every crevice and corner was filled with every imaginable play item. Teddy Bears, jack-in-the-boxes, music cubes. Shelves and shelves of porcelain, clown dolls lined the blue-wallpapered walls and on the white ceiling, Misaki spied a couple of glow-in-the-dark stars. On the blue carpeted ground there was a model train that was circling a track which ran in a 'U' shape around the foot large double bed in the centre of the room, which was pressed up against the furthest wall from the door.

But, it was the sight of Usami Akihiko, topless and standing in the gap between the train set and the foot of the bed, which truly made Misaki speechless. His pale, smooth skin was toned and his torso was lithe in muscle. That the man wasn't bulky in muscle all over, but mainly in his arms, almost made the boy sigh. Misaki observed, in a daze, how very, _very_, attractive the tutor looked wearing only a pair of black jeans. In fact, the jeans only highlighted how long both Usami Akihiko's legs and torso were.

Misaki's awed shock must have been evident on his face, because next second Usami Akihiko was smiling. But, yet again, there was a sly edge to it. _That's really, really sexy… when he smiles like that I- STOP IT! LAST TIME: He. Is. A. Man! YOU are a man!_

"Have you finished yelling at me now?" Akihiko asked, eyes twinkling quite nicely. The contrast between devilish smile and friendly eyes confused Misaki greatly.

_Well, you definitely out-versed me… but I kind of predicted that, you being an award-winning author and all that… you really know how to use words… and you corrected me. You gave me a home when I needed somewhere to stay… carried me to… bed…_

Misaki swallowed, eyes wide, blushed and nodded. His hands gripped the bottom of his green shirt and all over again exhaustion swept over him. He heard the soft pads of Usami Akihiko walking over to him and felt a shiver shake down the middle of his body.

And then Usami Akihiko's chest was right in front of him. He was so close Misaki could feel the warmth radiating from him and smell the lavender-smoke scent he'd smelt in the car. Misaki didn't know whether to look up, in which case he'd have to deal with feeling more like a child than he already did, or remain staring at the smooth, toned chest in front of him. Usami Akihiko made a compromise for him. _Again with the reading my mind thing! Argh!_

Resting an elbow on top of Misaki's head and bending over so close that Misaki had to press his body up against the door pane, Usami Akihiko levelled his head so he was looking directly into Misaki's eyes. _Oh, God. Lost in those violet eyes again… try to blur your vision!_  
But by this point, Misaki was so dizzy with the hypnotising, musky floral scent of the man that any attempt for anything was useless.

"Right, then. Good. I appreciate that." Akihiko's voice was dangerously low now. There wasn't even an inch between their mouths. In fact, every time the man had to push his lips forward slightly in order to say a word, Misaki would feel his lips brush against his. That sensation began to send blood shooting in one direction. Fast. "Oh," Akihiko continued, the fingers of the arm above his head skimming over Misaki's hair slowly, "you can take those contact lenses out now, too." Usami Akihiko moved his face forward and pressed his cheek against Misaki's ever so lightly as he whispered into his ear. "They're not allowed." The words stroked over his ear and down his neck and made his body shiver much more obviously. That made Akihiko let out a quiet laugh. Misaki's head was actually spinning with conflicting thoughts of desire for the man in front of him and a raging hammering of 'He's a man! He's a man!'

Then, Usami Akihiko's body was gone. Walking over to his bed.

"Go to bed, now. Enough foolishness for one night. Sleep." The pride in Usami Akihiko's voice made him squirm. However, this time, Misaki did as he was told, marching to his room quickly and quietly.

After Misaki had changed into his pyjamas, he got into the more than comfortable bed in his room and began to think. Hard.

He knew, somehow, that there was something more to that argument than was being said. He knew he was way too tired to go and brush his teeth- he knew that the sound of him having to come back out of his room would entertain Usami Akihiko way too much. He also knew that he did _not_ know how this week was going to turn out.

_Oh, Takahiro, _he thought. _Why!_


	9. Such Degrading Things

_Birds chirping… bed so warm… I can see the sunlight through my slightly open eyes… oh, that stretch feels good. It's a new day. It's a-_

"Ahhh!" Misaki sat bolt upright in his bed, repulsed by how feminine and breezy he sounded… in his own head.

The covers were still comfortably warm around him and, impressively, the pillows his head had been on had somehow remained perfectly soft yet firm throughout the night.

He'd gotten to sleep relatively easily. At one point at least three hours after he'd been sent to his room by Usami Akihiko- an incident that, thirteen hours later, still made him cringe- he'd heard a noise. That had woken him up from his light dose. However, upon hearing the quiet click of a lighter switch and a low, long exhale from Usami Akihiko, Misaki had been strangely comforted. He'd fallen back to sleep and into a much deeper sleep at that, relatively easily.

Misaki rubbed his eyes and winced as he remembered he'd left his contact lenses in. It had been a stupid, fruitless idea to put them in in the first place. His friend had said it would make him more attractive. Misaki had thought not, but he had given them a try in order to indulge his classmate.

"Owww," Misaki moaned to himself as he tried to slide the contact lenses out of his eyes. _That's right just poke yourself in the eye, that'll help, dumbass_.

A knock came at the door and the simple three taps brought Misaki out of his mutterings of annoyance.

"Are you decent?" came Usami Akihiko's voice. _Are you?_ Misaki thought, before he pushed his polite voice to the tip of his tongue.

"Err, yes, please come in." The door opened and there stood Usami Akihiko, all dressed up in an unfamiliar but smart waistcoat suit.

"Good Morning," Misaki greeted, his hands pulling the bed covers over his body and up to his neck gradually. Akihiko noticed and raised an eyebrow, smirking.

"Nothing to hide from me I haven't seen before, boy."

"Don't call me bo-" Misaki began.

"Did you enjoy your sleep?" Akihiko interrupted. _Damn him and his egotistic smile. I bet he's loving having me feel guilty for the way I behaved last night. Well, you were rude, Misaki. Oh shut up!_

"Yes… I did, thank you." Misaki's voice was sincere and quiet. Bashfully, he looked down at his scrunched hands on the green covers of the bed. "I'm… I'm sorry for how I behaved last-"

"You were under terrific stress, don't worry." Akihiko's voice was characteristically cool and blasé as he leaned against the door-pane and folded his arms.

_Why wont he let me apologise! Honestly! He's an author, he really should be able to deal with words._

"I really do appreciate your genero-"

"It's nothing." Akihiko ran a hand through his hair, yawned and closed his eyes. He remained leaning in the doorway. A split second passed as Misaki couldn't help but admire the long, perfect line of the man's nose and his rounded square jaw... _Stop. It._

_Ok_, Misaki thought, _so it's not that you can't deal with words, it's that you must have every word, EVERY word for yourself! But I am grateful! And sorry! I want to tell him I'll make it up to him because I really, really need to! He's been so selfless and I've been nothing but a brat. God. I feel so inferior here in this bed, with him standing there so regal, in this room… in this…_

"Is that… Is that a laptop?" Misaki asked, voice hoarse as he blinked several times at the computer that was sitting inconspicuously on the hazel-wood sideboard to Misaki's right.

"Yes," Usami Akihiko replied, the faintest hint of a genuine smile on his handsome face. Misaki stared at the laptop he knew hadn't been there last night. Then, on the thought that he hadn't properly seen the room the night before because it had been so dark and he hadn't turned on any lights, Misaki surveyed the room he'd been assigned.

It was roughly the same size as Usami Akihiko's, square and carpeted with a blue, soft material. But the walls were painted white and were bare aside from some shelves above a-

"Desk…? With… Books… new… books…" No matter how blind Misaki might have been to the room's appearance, he knew that these luxuries had not been in place before.

Usami Akihiko said nothing and Misaki noticed how the man was picking at his index fingernail between his thumb and middle finger. Was he nervous? The man looked up at the high ceiling, lips slightly pursed.

Misaki, joining him, could only smile. Hanging from the ceiling were several flash cards, all holding facts and figures that would aid Misaki in his revision for school.

"I had them stacked away and thought they might… help… you know, teachers get these things but never use them and so I put them up."

It felt like a sun had risen in Misaki's chest. It beamed out rays of gratitude for several seconds before it hit him. Usami Akihiko must have come into this room while he was asleep in order to do this. What else had he done?

"I'm sorry there's no window in here…" Usami Akihiko continued. Misaki glared at his fingers and clenched his jaw. _He was in here while I was asleep._ _He doesn't sound sorry at all. Why would he be? If there was a window in here, then it would face directly into his room… what's he saying? Or, am I being over analytical? Probabl-_ "But it would be nice for you to see me in my room. You could tell me whether or not the way I fluffed my pillows was politically correct, what with your knowledge of right and wrong." _He's mocking me. Again._

Misaki looked up and saw the man was looking directly at him, hands now in his navy trouser pockets and a more than charming smile on his face. _Why does the fact his hair is ruffled turn me on? WHY! Why must he confuse me so much? First putting all this stuff in here for me then slapping me with mockery? WHY?_

"You can make me breakfast," Usami Akihiko said simply, still smiling and unblinking.

_B-Breakfast? To… say thank you. Yes. I can do that. Happily. Very happily. As long as he doesn't tease me any-_

"And as repayment for your disrespect last night, you will wear a pinny."

"Pinny?" _Oh God, Please let that not be the maid's frilly thing… you know, the frilly thing maid's wear… frilly… maid's…_

"Yes. Pinny. To tie around your _waist_." _Don't look down at my waist when you say waist, you giant per_- "I hope you're happy here, remember if there's anything you need just ask."

"THAT'S IT! STOP INTERRUPTING ME! AND I AM NOT WEARING A PINNY!" Misaki's frustrated explosion did not seem to have effected Akihiko at all. The man remained cool and only raised his eyebrow a little in response to the shout. Then,

"You wear a pinny and you hoover the living room. It's dustier than a Mummy's tomb, but people with talent don't have time for such degrading things as dusting." _Yet another stab at me. But... but he's giving me a place in his home and he's giving me all this stuff. He drove me to Takahiro... Oh, confusion knows know boundaries in this place, it seems._


	10. Got It Bad

_I asked for it, I know I did. But just because I asked for a fight doesn't mean I expected to be so astronomically shocked, stunned… and unbelievably turned on. He's eighteen. Eighteen. Who knew such fire could blaze under such a visage of peace? Who knew that you could be stunned twice by the same thing… except when it's different…_

Akihiko sat in his car in the school car park, staring down at his hands, which were still on the steering wheel. They had been for the past ten minutes. _Misaki in his bed, just woken up- what if I saw that every morning? I'd never be happier… am I over-reacting? Probably. But those eyes shouldn't have been put on such an innocent face. Green, not brown, I'd been fooled. Lush, bottle green eyes… so bright… almost luminous… Hypno-bloody-tising._

In his head, he could still see the foul, frustrated look on Misaki's face as he had cooked that bacon in that pan. He could still see the blustered look on his face- the way his eyebrows knotted together and how tight his mouth became- as he had hoovered the living room. _He even hoovered under the sofas,_ Akihiko thought. He could still see the blush in those two cheeks as he had tied that yellow pinny on and had scrubbed the pan clean as Akihiko had eaten his bacon on toast. _Maybe the pinny was a bit too humiliating… ah. God knows the way he argues is priceless though. So worth it to see that fire blare up through him. So beautiful to watch him stand up for his beliefs. So goddamn annoying to listen to him trying to tell me how to live my life. Not to say I'm not a complete mess… _Akihiko looked up from the steering wheel as this thought passed his mind. _In two days he's made me the most frustrated, most happy, most fucking horny man on this planet. Little bugger._ He remembered how lovely Misaki had looked when he has been walking around his room, hanging those flash cards on his ceiling with strong and tape. He'd enjoyed anticipating Misaki's reaction. He'd tried to be as quiet as he could as he'd walked in with those books and that laptop. _He'll be here for a week. His brother's just been in a crash. This will help him feel better, hopefully._

Akihiko's watch beeped, shocking him out of his little reverie. _Time for work… will I see him? Oh stop acting like a stupid teenager, you weirdo… but oh, the way he blushed and shivered when you were so close to him… hah. I could share such pleasure with him, put him through his first experience…_

It made him smile to think of the things he could do to the bashful boy and smile even more to recall the sincere tone in which he had said thank you for the lift to school- Misaki had insisted he was fine for it and to be honest, Akihiko was happier to be in the same building with him than to leave him alone. God knows, if he didn't have any restraint, he would have pulled the kid back in the car and driven back home and truly shown him battle… before making a complete mess of him on his bed. _Hah… don't rush it, Akihiko._

As Akihiko got out of his car, brown leather briefcase of schoolbooks and marked papers in his hand, the smile slowly disappeared. An unexpected vision of wounded Takahiro flashed in his head and sank to his chest. To have seen his first true love so hurt had been a shock to his system. What shocked him more, however, was the greater concern he had had for Misaki. Sure, the boy did have some of Takahiro's qualities. But they were renewed. Misaki had other, very different qualities as well, though and Akihiko knew it was the evil side of him that loved the way he could so easily dominate the boy.

But he didn't want to control Misaki. He didn't want Misaki sad. _Never sad again, not after seeing those tears on his face… Dominate is maybe the wrong word…_ Akihiko's hand clutched the handle of his satchel harder at the thought and strode to the grey building. As he took the wide, stone stairs at the front of the school two at a time, he realised what it was he really loved.

He loved how he felt when he took care of the kid. He knew how happy it would make him to see the boy in bliss in his arms. He understood how confused the kid was right now- the stunned, embarrassed expression on the boy's face told him enough.

It almost scared him, as he pushed open the double doors in the hallway to his office and ignored the batting eyelids of crowding female students, how pleased it made him to think that Misaki would be with him at home when he returned. They'd agreed Misaki would wait on the corner so that Akihiko could take him home himself… 'It would make Takahiro happy…,' Akihiko had reminded.

As he cast his leather briefcase onto a small chair in his messy office, something worried him more. Misaki didn't have his number. What if something bad happened?

And, again, autopilot took over his body. Instinct in the first degree. He took a post-it note and pen, wrote '_Takahashi, Misaki- Emergency Number'_ on it and then added his mobile.

_You've really let him under your skin, haven't you? Well. Yes. But I… Like it. Oh come on. You love it, don't you? Yes, yes I do._ _You're actually having a conversation with yourself in your head about him. Akihiko, you've got it bad._


	11. Enjoyed

_Why was watching him talk to that girl so attractive? Was it the seriousness of his eyes; the way he pointed out the mistakes on the paper and listed ways of sorting them out; the way his glasses accented his professional appearance? Why do I still feel so jealous about it? It was an hour ago, during lunch… in the hallway… I shouldn't still be thinking about it… Had he seen me watching?_

"Misaki! Can you come tonight?"

"Huh? Oh…" Uh-Oh. He had promised Akihiko that he would wait on the corner that afternoon. He was fairly sure it would anger the man if he wasn't there… but what right did he have to be angry? _You promised, Misaki. Well… I could leave a note in his office…_

"Misaki? Come on, we're leaving now, are you coming to _Palm_ or not?"

Misaki blinked at his friend as they stood at the school gates. The way the leaves waved from the tall trees reminded Misaki of yesterday, when Akihiko had strode toward him so definitely… to tell him about Takahiro… _I wonder how he feels today… if he's any better… He left you with Akihiko, though, that torturer! But you said you would behave… How is enjoying yourself not behaving! And Akihiko doesn't control you… But he's been so generous... Yeah and he also made you cook him breakfast and wear a yellow pinny... but he drove you to Takahiro... he doesn't control you, though. _

"Yes, I'll come. Can you wait just a second though? I need to do something."

And now Misaki was in the village square, with four of his classmates, walking towards _The Last Palm_, a club that most high school students would often go to. A weird sense of guilt was trembling in his throat- he should have said more than '_Out tonight, will be back late. Misaki._'. He could actually feel Usami Akihiko's glare on the back of his neck and more than once, he peered over his shoulder to check the man wasn't there.

It wound him up the way he had wanted to tidy up the papers on Usami Akihiko's messy desk so that it would be easier for the teacher to look through them… His fingers were still itching to retie the bow on that ridiculous teddy bear so that it was happier. _Yes, you actually wanted to make a toy bear happier. That's how badly this man is effecting you. You actually want to make the man-who's-confusing-the-hell-out-of-you's life easier. _

"What's pissed you off, Takahashi?" one of Misaki's friends asked. The other three laughed. _Oh, great._ Unscrunching his eyebrows and putting on a fake, bright smile, Misaki shook his head.

"Nothing, nothing."

By the time the quartet got into the club, had ordered drinks and sat down, tangerine streaks of sunlight were painted across the sky as the sun settled outside.

It was dark in there, but blue, red and white strobes of light flashed through the crowded room as a repeated beat of techno music banged against the walls. A mass of adolescents were dancing on the dance floor, their figures seen every other second in frozen motion as the lights crashed over them.

An hour or two after Misaki had ordered his third beer, he felt his mobile begin to buzz in his trouser pocket. Laughing at a joke a friend who had joined them made, he took another sip from his drink as a slight wooziness began to take over his body. He squinted down at his mobile and the unfamiliar number, discarded the phone back in his pocket and continued to talk and laugh. He enjoyed the sense of rebellion. He enjoyed the heat in the room and the occasional glances he got from a couple of girls at other tables. God knows he enjoyed the independence.

As the beat of the music increased and Misaki's head began to pound with the sound and the clamoring noise, he began to feel sick.

_Can I make it home? Of course you can! Don't be such a wimp… don't be… don't… _Then, one of his friends spoke. What the guy said brought a very unprecedented sense of security to him… along with actual fear.

"Hey, isn't that Usami-sensei?"

Misaki choked on his beer as he realised the teacher was in fact in there. What was odd, however, was that Usami Akihiko didn't seem bothered that Misaki was there. Standing by a table at side of the club, the man's purple eyes glanced over the boy, then looked away. Then he sat at a table. Ordered a drink. Confused the hell out of Misaki.

_What the hell am I going to do?_


	12. The Nice Treatment

_Let him stew… that's right; just let him stew in it. Let him have his little rebellion. God, Akihiko, it's been two days and you're already trying to teach him life lessons. Get a grip. No, he should have picked up that post-it note from his register. He shouldn't have left that note in your office. How naïve did the boy think I was? What, he didn't think I'd know he would come here? Fool, I was in this place way before he was even thought of… that's not necessarily a good thing, Akihiko…_

"So, um, that's one whisky on the rocks?" The waitress was really bugging him; just because she had big boobs and a pretty smile did not mean she could keep checking with him. _Are you stupid, or do you actually need to ask me about my order because of policy reasons?_

"Yes, thank you," Akihiko replied, voice hard. He noticed that no other tables were being served by a waitress or waiter in the dark club. Why- because this was a club, not a restaurant. _Thank God for the lights, I'm getting blind as a bat_._ Probably because you look at a computer screen most of the day. _So, because of his light celebrity status, he was going to get the nice treatment was he? _Might as well take advantage of this… Remember how jealous the boy looked when you were talking to that girl? Hmmm…_ "Is there anything _you_ would like?" Akihiko asked, voice renewed to a much more charming tone. The red-haired girl giggled and put a hand to her lips, dropping her pad in the process. She bent over, back to Akihiko, showing off her admittedly cute ass in a pair of jean shorts. _Does absolutely nothing for me, dear, but thank you ever so much for the offer,_ Akihiko thought bitterly. He put a smirk on his face for good measure, however, as the girl stood back up and smiled down at him.

"You, um… you're really handsome. Do you think you could wait until after I've finished my shift?" The girl bent over, showing Akihiko her very well formed cleavage under her white t-shirt. Akihiko smiled more as she stroked his cheek, trying very hard not to push her hand away. "I've read all your books… you really get to the soul of things…"

"Thank you, I always love hearing my books effect people."

"Oh, they do effect me. You effect me. In fact, you seem to be effecting more than just me, in here." _Work on your grammar before you flirt with me, girl._

"Oh?" Akihiko encouraged anyhow, leaning his face into the girl's hand. He could feel how hot her hand was becoming against his cold skin.

"There's a student over there who wont stop staring at you." _Remain calm, Akihiko_.

"Is there indeed?"

"Mmhmm," the waitress replied, pushing her face closer to his. He could barely hear her voice over the loud beat of the music and noise of people babbling. "A brunette boy." _Buy a breathmint._

"Brunettes aren't my type," Akihiko lied, assuredly. The girl's eyes narrowed as her smile widened. Then, suddenly, her face turned bitchy, an obviously plucked eyebrow rising in surprise and disdain. She looked past Akihiko's face and Akihiko turned his head to see what had taken her attention from him.

"Usami-sensei, I didn't know you came here." It was a blonde pupil from the high school- one of the regular teens that stood outside his office with a made up question about homework in order to bat her eyelids.

"Ryuchi," Akihiko greeted. _Perfect, another girl._ Having his head turned this way, Akihiko had perfect vision of Misaki, who was indeed staring at him. As Akihiko slanted his eyes to look directly at him, Misaki jerked his head back slightly and looked away. _Hmm, maybe enough torture._

Ryuchi ruffled her layered yellow hair and put a hand on her hip. _Aren't you freezing? Since when was an orange tan attractive? Buy a skirt that leaves a little to the imagination and rethink your choice of vest… Akihiko, you have a different responsibility, remember?_

"So, Sir-"

"Excuse me, Ryuchi." Akihiko turned his head back to the waiting waitress and caught her sizing up the student. "Excuse me…?"

"Maoi."

"Excuse me Maoi. I think I have some unattended business to attend to."

"But, you didn't even have your drink!" Maoi squealed.

"I'll drink it another time," Akihiko replied, standing up and letting out a breath catching smile.

"O-Okay," Maoi said, disappointedly.

_Just walk away, Akihiko._

Akihiko walked across the club, not taking a second to look at Misaki and strode outside.

As soon as he was on the street again, he stood still and got a cigarette out of his coat pocket, not caring about the people who had to walk around him- he was too busy thinking. The sky was black and dotted with a few tiny stars and ahead of him, Akihiko could see the benches and planted trees illuminated by the surrounding streetlights.

He lit his cigarette, sucked in and then exhaled as he walked to his car, which was parked on the road in front of _The Last Palm_. Smoke billowed out behind him as he got closer to the car.

_Probably wasn't the best idea, stalking him here, Akihiko. Takahiro did ask you to look after him, though. He worried you sick… God knows what could have happened to him. Why do you care so much! Argh, you idiot. Just drive away… in fact, no, wait it out. Give it five minutes. Bet he comes out. Ten minutes tops._


	13. Intoxication

Hey guys- I really hope you're enjoying reading this so far! Sorry if there's anything really boring to read, I'm trying really hard to make it consistently interesting. Any tips are welcome =) I think you'll enjoy the end of this chapter ;) but please, read the whole lead up... it'll maybe make it more worth it =)

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_I hated how it was actually scaring me that he wasn't out. The clock above the rear-view mirror has clicked over seven minutes and still his slight figure isn't seen under that blue-lighted sign. Why, __why_, _did I feel like 'The Last Palm' held my last chance for happiness, if it was going to be with someone? A foul taste of regret was festering in my mouth; I should have let him be- he wasn't my responsibility. But something was telling me he was. I wanted him to be. So much. Eyelids heavy and eyes dark, I push the car-keys into the ignition. It's then that the three taps come on my window. God, even his face looking so angry makes me burn to embrace him. I was just sinking myself further under. Can't show this to him, though…_

Akihiko looked up at the boy and raised an eyebrow, feigning surprise. He braced himself as the boy went round the front of the car and let himself in the front seat. As the door slammed shut, Akihiko could only smile- _Hell, I'm actually looking forward to arguing with him. Any contact is perfect contact._

"What are you doing here? Stalking me?" Misaki's voice was angry but the impact was lost from the slurring of his words.

"Having a drink- what concern is that of yours?" Misaki gave him a stony look.

"You didn't even have a drink."

"What an absolutely brilliant observation. I'm glad to see your intelligence hasn't been altered by your evident intoxication."

"It hasn't!" _Oh God, this was too fun. I love his stubbornness. Love. It._

"How many fingers am I holding up, genius?" Akihiko did the peace sign. Misaki blinked and swallowed.

"Four," he replied, as though it was obvious.

"Brilliant! Divide that by two and you've got it, wiseass."

"Don't call me a-"

"You're going to bed. Your brother would be disappointed." _How many times am I going to be able to say that before it goes stale? When is he going to realise that my opinion should matter to him? That I'll always be outside in the car waiting. Two Days, Akihiko. Calm the fuck down about it._

"Don't… Order me around. You're not the boss of me." _No, I will not calm the fuck down about it._

"For the next week, I am." _I've never felt so certain about anything in my whole fucking life. _

"Takahiro doesn't know who you are. If he did, you wouldn't be." _No matter how bloody obstinate he is…_

"Takahiro knows you're not in danger with me." _No matter how hard he fights…_

"No… I know I'm not in danger. But… but…" _No matter how many times he backtracks to reveal how he really feels…_

"Don't act all big and blasé about situations just so you can come out on top." _Or how hard he pushes me away…_

"That's what you do! All the time!" _I will always…_

"I never lie about how I feel." _Fucking…_

"Yes you do! You never told Takahiro how you felt!" _Be…_

"That's not under questioning- it was for the best and you know it. Now, shut up, do your seatbelt up and untwist your knickers." _Here._

"I'm a guy!"

"Oh your knowledge for the unobvious really does blow me away." Akihiko pressed down on the accelerator and sped away from the curb, driving fast through the near changing traffic lights.

"I meant I don't wear knickers!"

"Prove it."

"No! God, you act all tough and… and all knowing, but it's all words." _Oh, kid, you're pushing it a bit. If you knew me so well you wouldn't damn near dare me like this._

"You don't know me." _Oh, but I bet he does. Just like I pretty much know him. Let me guess, his next words will be along the lines of 'I know eno-'_

"I know enough!" _Kid, you don't know how quickly you're racing to the predator._

"Takahashi, as your teacher and your guardian, I order you to keep your mouth shut." _Or I will have to pull over and show you all the things you don't know, show you pleasure you couldn't begin to imagine._

"You don't control me," Misaki muttered, folding his arms and glaring out of the windscreen. _That's it_.

Akihiko spun the steering wheel to the left hard and fast and swerved into a parking bay, foot ready on the brake before he pushed his foot down on it. Unblinking, he pulled the keys out of the ignition and sighed, assuming a very cool smile and narrowing his eyes. The road they were parked next to was desolate and since there were no streetlamps, they were bathed in relative darkness.

Akihiko put his arm over the back of Misaki's chair and arched his neck to the side. He watched with pleasure as Misaki's jaw clenched with the nervousness of having Akihiko's eyes on him.

Reaching over his chest with his other arm, Akihiko stroked Misaki's cheek with his index finger, slowly stroking down his jaw and over the first part of his neck. The shiver it elicited from Misaki made Akihiko's eyes widen.

He leaned over, silently, putting his face right next to Misaki's ear, relishing the way Misaki tried to bite his lip inconspicuously. Stroking his finger under Misaki's chin, he whispered,

"Lift your chin up." Misaki clenched his jaw, hard and swallowed.

"N-No," he replied, voice desperate and quiet. Akihiko leaned further forward and the car became very quiet as Misaki held his breath. Akihiko kissed the boy's cheek as he stroked down Misaki's throat.

"Ah… ahhh," Misaki gasped, shakily.

"Lift. Your chin. Up."

"Y-You don't control me. You don't." Akihiko's eyes narrowed and, first brushing his down Misaki's cheek, he blew softly on his neck before speaking low against his skin.

"Comply and I stop. Lift your chin up." _Oh… nearly have him… I have a very clear idea of what will seal the deal, but do I even have the courage? Pfft. For this enjoyment of this- always._ Voice even lower, Akihiko stroked with two fingers down to Misaki's collarbone and finished, "Misaki." _Bingo._

Misaki's chin lifted up as he whimpered with mingled pleasure and frustration- a kneejerk reaction, Akihiko knew, when one is enjoying intense physical pleasure.

Akihiko sighed by Misaki's ear and hummed out one, short laugh. Then, he took his arm away from over the back of Misaki's seat and readjusted himself in his seat, before restarting the car and speeding home. The delicious taste of the boy's name of his lips was making his every nerve tingle with hunger for him. But he had his small victory for the night and if he took any further advantage of the boy it would not be fair on him. So for now, he was content.

_Triumph._


	14. Quivering

_Entwined, possibly star-crossed thoughts have been ladled into my already messy mind. They're not helping. But, ironically, the subject of these entwined thoughts seems to be the only distraction to, well… him. Arguing with him, talking in general, watching him… everything. Distracts me. Why the hell should it though? He's naïve, frequently pigheaded and erratic… but, seeing him drunk after I assume about five drinks is making me both annoyed and amused. I want to look after him. It's been a jam-packed forty-eight hours. Who knows, days could turn into months and still I would be a happy distracted mess… but that would be just too good._

"You don't have to push me in, I know where the door is."

"Then stop walking into the wall."

Akihiko was slowly losing his 'cool'. He knew any other person assigned to looking after the kid would have screamed by now. But all he could think of was what could have happened if he hadn't gotten to the club… would Misaki have tried to go home alone? Probably. Panic settled in his throat as he closed the front door behind them. He started to feel sick. And shocked. And confused.

"Let go of my coat!" Misaki slurred, trying to take his arms out of it himself. But Akihiko had already whipped it off and thrown it on top the phone. He pushed Misaki into a chair by the dining table and stared down at him with all the force he had. He was going to talk to him but first he had to muster up the courage to show him how he felt. It was so rare he let people near to him, let alone so quickly.

Akihiko hadn't turned on any lights, so only the opaque, white light of the moon from the large windows allowed the two to see eachother.

Misaki glared up at Akihiko at first, but then his head lowered slightly, as though ashamed.

"I'm sorry," Misaki whispered. "I know I've been rude and… and ungrateful. But, it's just I don't know what to do." His voice went up a little on the last word and made Akihiko's eyes narrow in concern and shock. Was he crying? "I was so scared for Takahiro and when we went to go see him, I hated being in the car with you- my nails were digging into my knees the whole way. But once I saw my brother, it's like worrying about him vanished. Because of you." _Oh, Misaki…_ "I've seen you around school-" at this Misaki's voice got quieter but higher pitched- "But I've never really taken you in. Then when you… we spoke, it was like, I don't know… I mean, in the moment it wasn't like it… but now it feels like we've been speaking for…" Misaki sniffed and Akihiko continued to gaze down at him, his lips slightly parted in shock. "Forever."

_How many times are you going to stun me? How many times am I going to be shocked? Because I don't recognise this feeling… I don't have it ever. I have in the past, but for different things… like realising I forgot to buy coffee again… I've not felt it for a person. I've not had my heart clutched so tightly… like…_

"And now I'm in your home and I've disrespected you and I've tried to be polite but- but…" _Like something had been missing before I met you._ Misaki began to sob and Akihiko's hand slowly began to reach towards him. "It's so overwhelming, how grand everything is… about here, in this home… about you…" _You're falling in love with me- that's why you're so confused. You're shocked by the pace of it all, just like I am. Should I tell you that? I really shouldn't have touched you at all… but I couldn't resist. I was being selfish, as always._ Akihiko's hand raised over Misaki's face and then settled, softly, in Misaki's silky hair, which shone in the milky glow in the room. He heard Misaki gasp slightly and let his thumb rub his hair slightly.

"Misaki," he said, voice low and as comforting as he could make it. _Please stop crying._ "You should have some water or you'll get dehydrated." _Oh, would you please quit acting like Mother Goose!_ Misaki sniffled some more and Akihiko smiled to himself as he walked over to the dark kitchen, got a glass and filled it with water. _You need to sober up, Misaki. Oh… He could only be saying all this because he's drunk…_ "So, how much did you drink?"

"Two and a half beers," Misaki replied, voice worried. Akihiko turned round, glass of water in hand. And laughed. _This is how he deals with two and a half beers! Hah! But look at that face- he must feel ill… look how hard he's trying to remain strong…_ Misaki's eyebrows knotted together and he pouted angrily. "Don't look at me like that- I can hold my drink!"

Akihiko walked back over to him and noticed that the boy's hands were shaking a little in his lap.

"When was the last time you drank alcohol?" Akihiko asked, concerned. His hand was still holding out the water. Misaki's shoulders sagged.

"About a year ago… I couldn't stand it for a really long… uhhhh." Misaki groaned and leaned over a little. _Ahh great, you're dealing with alcohol intolerance. _

Akihiko put his finger, gently, under Misaki's chin and tilted it up, putting the rim of the glass to his lips. He tipped the glass forward slightly, allowing the water to spill into the boy's mouth and sighed at the bittersweet happiness consuming him- he was helping Misaki. And he loved it.

"You're going to bed," Akihiko said, as Misaki finished the water.

"Nuuuh. Okay." Akihiko put the empty glass on the table and reached out his arms so Misaki could hold onto them. _Hah, been here before_, he reminisced, as he had to reach forward to help the boy stand up.

"I hereby ground you." Misaki blinked at Akihiko's sudden, unexpected words. "You're brother gave me permission to if need be," Akihiko explained. "I'm taking advantage of that. You put yourself in danger way too much. No, don't try to speak, you'll make yourself feel worse."

He watched Misaki's head sway a little as his face assumed a familiar, annoyed expression. Then, the boy smiled.

"Since when does a grounding make teenagers happy?" Akihiko asked, smiling as well as he leaned down to put Misaki's arm around his neck. They took the stairs one at a time.

"Since…" Misaki took a breath at the confusion of forming a sentence. "Since when does an adult not shout a grounding… or, or punish the teenager more."

_Since teachers fell in love with their friend's student brother, that's when. Oh God. Love? No, no it's a crush, a midlife crisis even… No. Really?_

The two of them reached the top of the stairs. Smiling.

"You wont be able to undress yourself," Akihiko realised out loud.

"Oh, yes I will," Misaki said, defiantly, putting his body between Akihiko and his room. Akihiko raised an eyebrow as Misaki almost fell backwards.

"Trust me, you'll get in there and pass out on the bed and wake up with a splitting headache from having your head lolling over the side of the bed. I've been there. Done that. Get inside your room."

"No! You don't contro-"

"You really want to go down this route again?" Misaki gritted his teeth and stumbled a little on the spot, even though he'd been standing still. He gave in and walked into his room. Akihiko followed. "Are you going to take my clothes off?" Misaki asked, as though he was resigned to such torture routinely. _Misaki, you don't know how badly you want me to take off your clothes…_

"No. Just your shoes. Sit on your bed." Misaki did as he was told and swallowed, eyes nearly closing completely. It was darker up here than it had been downstairs, but Akihiko could still see his cute face and those big green eyes, though they were dulled a little by the boy's exhaustion. _He probably wanted to get his head around another family member being in crash. The trauma of almost losing the last member of his family…_

"I don't feel good," Misaki admitted, under his breath. Akihiko breathed out a small but definite laugh. _Let me take care of you. Please. Not sleeping with you. Just let me be there for you, if anything. _

"I know." Akihiko smiled as he kneeled down and undid the laces on the boy's shoes- _Oh, Cinderella or what?!_- before slipping them off and picking up Misaki's legs. He put them under the covers before helping Misaki take off his jumper as well- _he might get too hot_- and then lying his head down on the pillows.

"We really shouldn't make a habit of you helping me into bed like this," Misaki whispered, voice almost unintelligible. But Akihiko heard.

"Go to sleep," Akihiko whispered back and he watched, feeling his shoulders relax as he did so, Misaki's eyes close completely. Then, with one deep sigh, the boy fell asleep. Akihiko knew he was going to shout and yell at the boy tomorrow and tell him off for being so irresponsible, because even though Akihiko had accepted his rebellion, Misaki had to know that even joys had consequences. _Yes, more life lessons for your love. Crush. Crush. It is a crush… It… is…?_

More confusion lodged itself in Akihiko's chest as he sat at his computer and waited for his document to load- he was far too awake to even attempt going to sleep and he needed to go and check on Misaki in about an hour or so. He didn't feel an ounce of lust for the boy now- just concern. He was at the boy's beck and call. _So take advantage of that. Please._

_How he yells, how he smiles… even that faint smell of his- like freshly baked chocolate cookies. His constant battle for right and wrong and the way he always tries to be the best. His stubbornness. His soft hair. His slight body, which would fit so fittingly against mine. But there's more to come…_

"And I want to see it all," Akihiko muttered to himself. He closed his eyes and remembered how silky Misaki's skin had been when he had stroked it and the quivering gasps he had let out as Akihiko had seduced him. _I just want you happy._


	15. To Look After You

_Third day and I'm trapped. Day Number three and I'm done for. More than forty-eight hours gone by and something's happened. I don't recognise it. I don't know if I like it. I know I can't resist it. I feel engulfed, drowned… and yet still I can breathe. Every breath is clearer. Usami Akihiko makes me feel safe… especially if he's here._

"Misaki? Are you okay?" Misaki opened his eyes slowly. The light coming through his bedroom door, light blue but still a bit shadowy, told him it was early morning. Akihiko was standing over him and Misaki could feel something cool on his forehead.

"Yes," Misaki replied, looking up at him. Akihiko's face was expressionless and serene and as Akihiko lifted his hand, Misaki realised he had been pressing a damp cloth to his head.

"You were burning up, do you feel any better?" _Again, with the consideration… what brought this on? One minute he has me tied up in a pinny, hoovering his house… next he's helping me up to bed. I feel confused… but taken care of. L-Loved._

"Yes," Misaki said again, swallowing a little bit. His head wasn't pounding any more and he didn't feel so woozy. Plus, he didn't feel like he was about to throw up, which was a very good thing.

"Do you think you'll get back to sleep?" Akihiko asked, still staring calmly down at the boy. _I feel so calm with him there, so safe. I don't want to close my eyes. I don't want him to be gone from my side, let alone my vision. Hell, I want to hoover his house if it means I can help him. He's always there to help. No one else knows how good he is. He looks so tired, though… how long has he been standing there?_

"I-I don't know." Akihiko's eyes became a little sad at that before he spoke.

"Okay, just come to me if you need anything. I'm in my office. End of the hallway." Akihiko turned around and began to walk out of the room but Misaki stopped him.

"Why are you doing all this?" Akihiko stopped in his tracks but remained facing the doorway. _I don't like him with his back to me…_

Misaki could see through the man's shirt how well formed and slender his long shoulder blades were and again found himself admiring Akihiko's broad shoulders. _This feels so strange. I really like him. His low voice… everything I've seen far. I even like how he's so full of himself… but… is that him being vain or just nervous?_

Akihiko sighed suddenly, making it clear how still he had been standing. He turned around, the damp cloth scrunched in his hand. _Long hands…_

"Because your brother asked me to look after you. So I am." It sort of hurt Misaki to hear that. As he continued to stare at Akihiko, something began to prod at the corner of his brain, though. A memory. Akihiko and him were in the car… and Akihiko was telling him to do something… _Was this last night? _Akihiko had been stroking his cheek… and throat.

_He was so close. He'd been that close the night before… topless... How does he make me forget things from just a day ago by being near me? I haven't thought about him writing those BL novels since we argued the night before last. He keeps looking at me like he… likes me. He keeps touching me. It makes me feel good, though. I don't recognise this… why is my stomach so tight?_

"Oh…" Misaki replied, averting his eyes to the wall.

After that, Akihiko had left the room. Misaki had stayed lying there, the past two days flashing through his mind. So much had happened. The things he had admitted to Akihiko last night as he had sat in that chair ran in a constant cycle around his head. He was beginning to feel dizzy again.

_Takahiro… I hope you're okay… I feel like you are. It scared me to think I'd lost you the same way we lost Mum and Dad. Is it bad I haven't thought about you more? Is it bad I feel so close to Usami Akihiko? Am I letting you down by not getting higher grades? I need to do something for you. Need to make you proud. I don't know how to do that now, though- I've done all my homework to the best standard I could…_

Misaki say up in bed and buried his head in his arms. He felt angry with himself for not doing more. He felt guilty.

_Akihiko's done so much for me. He… he helped me drink water to help me feel better. Got me upstairs. Drove me to you, Takahiro. Got that nurse out of the room._ That memory made Misaki smile. Akihiko had been so charming. _Why do I want him to stroke my hair again?_

As an auburn light began to flood Misaki's room through his still open door, he realised it was nearing time to wake up. It was Saturday. No school. _I'll do some revision for that test next week… Hmm... maybe I should go and see if Akihiko is okay- see if he needs anything. I feel fine now. Thanks to him…_

Misaki got out of bed, the flash cards hanging from his ceiling brushing against his head slightly. He walked down the landing to his left. He looked over the banister down to the living room and kitchen and was momentarily awed by how large the place was- so spacious. It looked gorgeous in the sunny light sparkling through the tall windows on the left side of the room.

He continued to walk, bare foot and wearing the green t-shirt and khaki trousers he'd been wearing before. He passed Akihiko's bedroom and spied through the slightly ajar door, the mass of toys and the large, unmade bed. As he walked past, he began to hear a light tapping… like someone typing. He saw a slight, white glow coming from the door at the end and went straight there.

Akihiko was sitting in a high backed, blue swivel chair, cigarette in his mouth and fingers blurring against the keyboard of his computer. Misaki stayed in the doorway and saw how heavy Akihiko's eyelids had become; he was wearing his thin-rimmed, semi-squared glasses. The ash at the end of his smoking cigarette was beginning to hang a little off the end.

"It's going to drop," Misaki thought, outloud. Akihiko's head snapped round and his fingers hovered over the keyboard as he looked wide-eyed at Misaki. With his movement, the ash fell to his white shirt. _That'll smudge,_ Misaki thought as Akihiko looked down at the slight singe in his sleeve.

"I'll wash that," Misaki offered, taking a shaky breath in as he folded his arms over his chest. _Look how hard he works… he was so concentrated, didn't even notice I was here._

"Do you feel better?" Akihiko asked, stubbing his cigarette out in a glass ashtray next to his keyboard. Misaki nodded, looking around the rest of the room.

"Yes," he answered, eyes set on a tall bookshelf that was against the other side of the wall and a plant he was sure hadn't been watered recently, in the far corner. There was a blue sofa against the wall ahead of Misaki. Most of it was shadowed, but a long triangle of yellow-orange light was formed against one of the cushions, from the light coming from the door behind him.

Akihiko raised his head and leaned back in his chair, looking at Misaki. Both of his long hands dropped into his lap as he rested his elbows on the arms of his chair.

_So handsome…_

"Good," was all Akihiko said. "Good."

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Hello all of you lovely readers!! I'm so grateful to all of you who have read this story so far. I would really appreciate some feedback, any tips are welcome. Hope you're enjoying my story ^.^


	16. Being Fair To You

Hello everyone- I really hope you're enjoying it so far. I think it might read a little slowly, but I wanted to make this story gradual... Hope you enjoy.

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Akihiko

_You leave me breathless standing there in my doorway, Misaki. Do you know how beautiful it is to watch the sun glisten on your hair? _

Akihiko remained sitting in his chair as Misaki walked nervously towards him.

"What you writing?" he asked. _You're gonna start holding your top in a minute._

"A new novel," Akihiko replied, eyes on Misaki's hands. Yep, next second Misaki had his hands in fists, scrunched at the bottom of his shirt.

"A BL novel?" he asked, disapprovingly. Akihiko breathed out a laugh.

"No. You really need to calm down about those."

"I am calm! Do you use Takahiro anymore?"

"No." _Did I hurt your feelings when I said I was only looking after you because of your brother? I hope not… I feel like I should hold back. I'm not being fair to you by letting myself fall for you._

"Can I read some?" _You want to read my novel? Oh…_

"Of course," Akihiko replied, pushing his chair back, allowing Misaki more room.

Misaki stepped forward and bent over to look at the screen. _Don't stare at his ass, don't stare at his ass, don't stare at his-_

"It's really good," Misaki said. "So sad," he muttered. Akihiko sighed and pulled Misaki back by his waist. Misaki landed on Akihiko's knee and froze. "I'm… sitting on your knee."

"Better than you bending over like that." _Yeah, for my health._ Misaki sighed and looked down, putting his hands on Akihiko's knees. That he could fit both of them on there only proved how small his hands were. How big Akihiko was.

"Would you like some breakfast?" Misaki asked, rocking forward and back slightly on Akihiko's knee. Akihiko could see a perfect little area of skin on the back of Misaki's neck. _To kiss it… damn, listen to what he's saying_.

"Breakfast? It's six in the morning."

"Oh… I'll wait then."

"No, no, no. I meant to say that I have to be gone by six thirty this morning, for work. Some stupid publisher needs to see me before he does his yoga. You'll be okay here by yourself, wont you?"

"Um, yeah. I'll do some revision." _Oh God, I shouldn't have pulled him back. Now I want to hug him. So badly._

"Don't go out. I'll leave my number by the stove. I better go have my shower now."

"Ok… Usami-sensei!" Akihiko had gripped Misaki to his chest, fiercely. Misaki balled his hands into fists.

* * *

Misaki

_What can I do? I want to hug him back. But should this be allowed? He's my teacher… well… but… Oh, give in, Misaki. You've lost already._

Misaki swallowed, nervous, and put his arms over Akihiko's. _He's so strong around me_. _I don't want to make him late for work, though. But I don't want him to go from around me. I feel like… like if were anywhere, I'd be home as long as I was like this with Usami-sensei…_

"Usami-sensei… you'll be late."

"I don't care." _Oh… that feels so good against my back. So warm. He's cold, though. But… so comfortable. I feel like I want to cry with how perfect this feels._

Misaki's breathing began to become heavier as he held his arms tighter around Akihiko's. He felt Akihiko sigh against his back and shivered as the man moved his head upward towards his neck, breathing against the sensitive skin by his hair.

"U-Usami-sensei," Misaki whispered, body aching and tingling at the same time as he closed his eyes. Akihiko shook his head, slowly, against Misaki's neck. _Why does this feel so rushed but so right at the same time? I want to be here forever. I want to be in this lavender and smoke haze forever, want to feel these arms. Feel so secure. But I'm a guy, he's a guy. Is this right? Why do I want him… just him._

"Oh, Misaki…" Akihiko whispered, sadly. The tone of upset made Misaki sting and his whole body drooped as Akihiko let him go and stood up, making Misaki stand up with him. Misaki stood there, frozen, as Akihiko sighed behind him then walked out the room. _No. No you can't do that. No…_

"No!" Misaki cried, storming out of the room after Akihiko. "You can't just be like that and disappear!"

Akihiko was in the middle of the landing, arms folded, eyes closed and leaning against the banister.

"Misaki, you don't know what you're getting into." _He's right, I don't. But I'm eighteen. I can make my own choices. I can. I didn't realise how much I wanted you near me, like that, until now. But. No. I shouldn't feel like this, I know. In your room when you were topless. In the car… you can't keep seducing me like that then stop!_

"Who cares if I don't? I haven't done anything! It's you who keeps doing things, making me feel things-"

"I don't _make_ you feel anything."

"Then don't… don't…" _Don't say it, Misaki. You know you don't mean it. _"Don't touch me!" _Oh. You said it._ Misaki watched, horror sinking in him, as Akihiko's eyes opened slowly and his jaw clenched.

"I'm sorry if I hurt you," Akihiko said, quietly. _No. No, you didn't hurt me. You just left._ Then, silently, the man turned around and walked downstairs, leaving Misaki standing there. Speechless.


	17. Polish

_You did it again. You argued with him and disrespected him right after he had looked after you. Cared for you. Why. Why! Because you're confused, Misaki. That doesn't justify it._

Fuming, Misaki waited until he heard the front door close before he went to Akihiko's room, to find what he was looking for. Sure enough, thrown on the floor along with the navy trousers, the white shirt Akihiko had burnt was there. Misaki picked it up, went back to the door. Then stopped. Returned. Picked up every bit of dirty laundry he could spy.

An hour later and Misaki had worked out how to work the washing machine, which was in the kitchen, had found the appropriate soap and had set a complete clothes wash on the go. He'd cleaned the kitchen, surprised at how many stains of God knows how many soups were on the stove. A herd of dust bunnies were residing behind the near empty fridge- _I'll have to wait for Akihiko until we fill that fridge back up again. I'll be doing the cooking._- and Misaki was surprised to find that the floor in the kitchen was actually made up of light blue tiles, not grey. As he put the mop back in the storage cupboard, he felt his eyes sting with tears. The prickling made him close his eyes and within seconds, three tears had escaped from him.

_I need to think about what's going on. I need to work out why all of this feels so right but so wrong. First, though, I need to thank Akihiko properly._

Taking a deep breath, Misaki whirled around on his heel and realised he better mop the living room as well. Half an hour later, that was done and before he knew it, Misaki was upstairs. Trying to tidy Akihiko's room. It was hard and difficult and frustrating, but Misaki kept going- _Need to make it up to him_. What pushed him harder was the thought of the possible smile it would bring to Akihiko's face, to see his home cleaner. Fresher.

Time was fading fast by the time Misaki had gotten to the large, white bathroom at the other end of the landing. The floor was tiled white, the walls were white, the _huge_ bathtub was white. The only other colour Misaki could see was the silver of the taps. The mirror above the sink became foggy as Misaki turned the hot water on in the bath, using the water from there to mop the floors before scrubbing the grime from around the toilet and every other surface. _He's messy. He's untidy. He keeps himself in order, though… why…_

By the time it was eleven o'clock Misaki had visited most rooms in the apartment and cleaned them best he could. He was aching all over but a unique sense of achievement was gurgling through him as he sat on the kitchen floor, eating the sandwich he's just made and waiting for the polish on the chairs to dry. He was proud with himself for finding everything he'd needed and even happier to see the improvement he'd made to the place. _Well, improvement in my opinion… I hope Usami-sensei likes it…_

At twelve, Misaki was standing on a chair in a long, slightly narrow room just off the living room. There were only chairs in here and some cupboards, along with a few plastic flowers in vases. Misaki was looking for candles and as he found them on a top shelf of one cupboard, he smiled. _Final touch._

Two o'clock. Finished.

Misaki was slightly breathless, but he felt happier. During the massive clean up, Misaki had managed to burn off some serious steam. The lingering frustration had been burnt away and the confusion was sitting patiently in one corner of his mind. He was exhausted, but he knew there was more to do. So, with heavy feet, Misaki made his way up to his room and sat at his new desk and laptop and set to work on revising.

The phone began to ring three hours later, saving Misaki from the tedious essay he had to write for Economics. He got downstairs just in time to realise the number calling corresponded to the number Akihiko had faithfully left by the stove.

"Usami-sensei?" Misaki answered the phone. _He's going to be angry at me… he's going to be cold… breathe, Misaki. He has no obligation to be nice to you… but if he's going to be near you like that then-_

"Get ready. Put some smart clothes on." _His voice is annoyed. Rushed._

"Huh? W-Why?"

"There's an educational evening you need to attend."

"What? I never heard about-"

"Just get ready. I'll be picking you up outside the house at six. Be outside then."

"I… okay. Can I use the shower?"

"Of course you can. Just be ready." Akihiko hung up.

A little worse for wear, Misaki rushed upstairs and got a towel from the boiler cupboard outside the bathroom. He had a shower and washed his hair, all the time wondering what kind of educational night Akihiko could be taking him too. He assumed it was at the school. He wasn't sure how the other kids would respond to him being dropped off by Akihiko…

The doorbell rang just as Misaki had got himself into a pair of black trousers along with a light blue shirt. He pushed his shoes on at the door and then made his way outside.

Akihiko was leaning against his red sports car, face expressionless and a pair of solid black sunglasses on. _I feel like he's hiding something._

Without a single word to eachother, Misaki got into the car and strapped himself in. The sound of the low humming car engine was the only sound to be heard, until Misaki realised they were going a very different way to school.

"Usami-sensei? Are we going to school?"

"We're going to an educational night," Akihiko replied, voice stony as he reached into the glove compartment in front of Misaki, eyes still on the road and one hand on the steering wheel. He pulled out a box of cigarettes and skilfully tipped one out before getting a lighter from the inside of his coat and lighting the cigarette.

Misaki noticed how uncreased and smart Akihiko's suit was and was suddenly curious about the folded napkin in the black dinner jacket under his long black coat.

Confused, Misaki sat quietly in his seat and took a moment to rest his eyes. The vision of the clean apartment made him smile. _Hopefully it will make Akihiko smile too. _

As he felt the car slow to a stop, Misaki opened his eyes. Ahead, he could see that the sun was setting and it startled him how, yet again, time flew. _It's been racing ever since I started talking to Usami-sensei… _Looking to his left, Misaki blinked.

"T-That's not the school," he said, quietly.

"No, it's a college. Come on. We're late." Misaki got out of the car and walked across the pavement before his feet squashed against the damp green grass area, which was in front of the low, wide red-brick building. Outside, Misaki saw a sign and began to read it, but Akihiko had grabbed his arm and before he knew it they were rushing inside.

"Usami-sensei? What's going on?" They ran through a long, grey hallway before stopping outside a pair of brown double-doors. Misaki looked up, breathless, at Akihiko. He rolled his neck from side to side subtly before taking off his sunglasses and slipping them into his coat before taking that off too.

A thin man, with a small black beard and small squinty eyes, suddenly appeared next to Akihiko.

"Are you ready, Sir?" _He sounds enamoured with Usami-sensei… what is this?_

"Yes."

The thin man pushed the doors open. Misaki looked inside the warmly lit hall. A congregation of smartly dressed people all turned their heads at the three of them and began to applaud, politely and reservedly, upon seeing Akihiko. Misaki looked up at the large, white banner above three tables of drinks.

'_**Usami Akihiko- The Eye Of The Moon, Opening Night.**_' _This is for his new book…_

"This is educational?" Misaki hissed up at Akihiko. _I can just run out of here. That'll embarrass him. _

"Yes," Akihiko replied, an a thousand watt smile plastered on his face.

_Educational… hmmm… okay, maybe not in the academic sense…_ Misaki sighed, blushing at everyone looking at the two of them as they walked into the hall. _Must try to be open-minded. Here we go._


	18. Swaying

Akihiko

_Why do I feel like I have to prove something? This never happens. I don't usually give a shit what these crowds of so-called fans think of me, lest of all what the stupid publishing house thinks. But on their words, I was spurned- turned to face a new reality I thought had vanished under lightyears of forgotten childhood. The glass shatters and I see a new reflection. With a brown-haired boy scowling beside me. Holding my arms…_

_"Akihiko won't be coming with anyone- he never brings anyone to these things. Bastard," Akihiko had heard his agent scorn on the phone. Well. Here I am. With someone.  
_

_Keep the smile on, Akihiko. Keep it on._

"I would like to thank all of you for coming here tonight- it honours me to see appreciation for a book I put so much energy into." _Keep the fucking smile on, Akihiko. Try not to look at the boy, standing at the back of the crowd… his eyes are so wide… awed?_ "I would like to thank my editor and everyone at The Publishing House for their co-operation and enthusiasm, their input and encouragement." _Finish is now and go to Misaki… God, he's got a glass in his hands… more alcohol? Damn… keep the smile till the end!_ "Thank you."

Akihiko bowed his head under the spotlight, his hands clutching either side of the wooden podium as his audience applauded. Their clapping died out as Akihiko walked down from the stage, feeling sick at himself. He hated parading himself in front of people like that. _I put on a brave face, sure, but come on- I'm an author; it's not necessary to see my face_.

Something thrust a pen under his nose and he heard the familiar, unsettling squeal of another fangirl. He signed about ten slips of shiny, black paper, put off by the photo on each of them. Of him.

* * *

Misaki

_God, he looked so good up there. Shit, here I am. Just me. Me. Misaki. That boy. Takahiro's younger brother. 'Oh, why aren't you like him?' They'll all ask when they get to know me, if they want to. Well, whatever. Why the hell it took me so long to realise I'm not even worth being sober, I don't know. But hell, something's taking hold of me with Usami-sensei. I don't recognise it. I don't recognise shit. And hell I've already disappointed my parents with my behaviour since their deaths. Might as well continue down this road. And Takahiro, you've done so much. I nearly lost you and I barely thought of you. I got swamped. For a milli-second I was jealous of you because of how Akihiko said he felt. Well, don't worry. I'll drench myself in misery for you. Misery and wine. But beer will have to do for-_

"Misaki? What are you doing?" _Ahh, here comes my confuser. He's another one I'm letting down. Watching him on stage was the thing that made me move to that haven- the drinks table. Realisation set in as he bowed his head to his followers. _"Drinking yourself into a stupor won't help."

"I've always been in a stupor." Misaki's voice was quiet. _Turn around from him. You don't deserve to see him. This is turning out to be one very educational night. _"Always leaning on other people. Takahiro. I'm starting to lean on you. It's… It's not right."

"Misaki…" _The way he lengthens the end of my name like he can't bear for it to end… why does he do that? He's just standing there. Disappointment in his eyes… those eyes… Oh God what am I doing. _Akihiko very gently wrapped his hand around Misaki's wrist, other hand taking the bottle from his hand. _Let me out of this drama I'm creating. Why are you doing this?_

"I get mediocre grades." Misaki sniffed, loudly. "I… I don't do anything right. Even if I do I sully it by pushing it away with foul words. Words I don't even-even… m-me-"

Akihiko glanced around before putting an arm around Misaki's back and guiding him, gently, outside the hall through a single door by the drinks tables. Misaki let Akihiko guide him. _Takahiro… you were there for me, I'm so grateful for that. But you should see this- cold, messy, egotistic Usami Akihiko is helping me out of choice. It's been three days and look. Look how I smile when he puts an arm around me._

"Stop crying. Stop it. There are others worse off than you." Misaki caught his breath at Akihiko's harsh words, wiping a hand under his nose. He only just realised that he was crying.

The hallway they'd entered had wooden walls and a polished wooden floor. There was a window on their right, through which the darkening night sky could be seen. Dim, orange light lit up the scene.

_Why is all of this crashing down on me? I didn't do anything. Why. So confused. So much had happened. So exhausted but so awake._

* * *

Akihiko

_So, he wants to begin wallowing does he? Over my dead body. If I'm going to be any sort of… anything to this boy, then I'll have to get him out of the beginning of this mess._

"You can lean on me as much as you like." _I lost in him and I'm not even touching him. I feel like the world is spinning slower as he stops crying. His chest shakes as he looks up at me._ "No matter how shit you think you are-" _I know that's what it is_- "You have no right to squander all the effort Takahiro has put into you."

"Takahiro. Takahiro. Takahiro. Stop!" _What?_ "You say you're only looking after me because of Takahiro, after you admit your feelings for-"

"Past feelings-"

"Whatever! Make a decision! Don't touch me at all if you're just using me as a bounceboard for my brother!"

_He's said it again. He said that this morning… but with more conviction. Something's changing in him. Is this progress? Or realisation that he can make his own moves? I want him to leave his worries to me, though…_

"I'm not using you as a bounceboard."

"From the minute I got into your house y-you've confused me! It's like someone has sped up time and you've pushed me over the edge! I keep blaming you for the way I feel but I know… I think I know…" _Crash with me, Misaki. God. Everyone else is missing out on this tempest of a boy. _"I don't know anything about you," Misaki continued, voice quieter as he stared, wide-eyed, over Akihiko's shoulder. "But… But if I'm going to be pushed… after everything you've done… for Takahiro… for me… I only want to be pushed by you." _I don't want to push you, Misaki._

"I'm not going to push you."

"I feel scared of you. Happy with you. Amused by you. Safe with you."

From inside the hall, a slow, soft song began to play. Akihiko's eyes warmed and his shoulders dropped. _He's telling me everything. One minute he's shouting at me, the next minute he's bearing his soul._

"Three days…" Misaki whispered, face pale in the subtle, orange glow. _Who can I blame for feeling like all I need to do is wrap this boy up? Even he doesn't realise what an effect his parents' death had on him. Of course he says bad things- an understandable reaction from someone who doesn't know what they're feeling._ _Just accept it, Akihiko. Be near his warm body again._

Akihiko took one, small step forward and tenderly enveloped Misaki in his arms, tucking his head by Misaki's warm cheek, his large hands covering Misaki's shoulder-blades.

"It's fast, I know," Akihiko whispered, "but change is fast sometimes. It knocks us back, hard. You're nothing I've ever experienced. But I'm here to catch you."

* * *

Misaki

_He's there… around me again. He gets how fast it's going._

"Breathe, Misaki. Breathe." Misaki sighed and closed his eyes, his change wrapped securely around his body. The boy's arms reached out to hug Akihiko's waist and it felt like an undiscovered hole filled up inside his stomach. _I've come to the end of the first lap of this race with Usami Akihiko. I feel sober and safe with him here. No matter how much he frustrates me. This is nowhere near the end of the beginning. But I'm starting to accept anything that happens with me will involve him... I don't know him. But I want to. I hate and adore what I've seen so far._

"Takahiro was my first, true love. I'm not going to candy it up. He was. There was an air of tranquility around you that reminded me of him. But your fiery nature was something I did not see coming. You're pigheaded. But that's because you're young. You're always out to define good and bad. Maybe you should start seeing the grey. Stop panicking, Misaki."

"Why do you say I'm pigheaded but hug me at the same time...?" Misaki muttered against Akihiko's chest, glaring slightly.

"Because I'm honest. I'll be honest about this, too- I'm going to understand you quicker than you'll understand me. But that's because you need to completely accept what you're feeling at the moment. These kind of feelings are rare, Misaki. It's sudden." _But meant to be._

Misaki's head was beginning to feel light and the dolcent, soothing hum of the song from the hall began to flood through his senses, merging with Akihiko's lavender scent. He began to feel his feet lift and move and, looking down, he saw Akihiko had moved his feet under Misaki's. Akihiko was moving his weight from side to side, gently swaying the speechless Misaki on top of his shoes. Misaki swallowed and continued to stare. Relaxed. The torrent of things he had said was begin to disappear from his memory. _I just said exactly what came to my mind... was that wise? I never do that... _

_"_Don't let go, Misaki," Akihiko whispered as Misaki's arms began to go limp around Akihiko's solid waist. Misaki took in how small his feet were against Akihiko's and swallowed again, tightening his embrace. Fixated on the experience.


	19. The Vertigo Feeling

Akihiko

_I'd be betraying him if I let my entire guard drop now. I could feel a tempest of emotion closing in around my mind, voices yelling at me to quit restraint and go down the path of exhibition. I didn't want to hurt him- I didn't want to take away his innocence. Lord knows how far he would have gone if I hadn't been here to stop him from starting down the path of alcoholism. It wasn't anywhere near serious. Yet. He'd had a sip of wallowing. I would show him that addiction wasn't always a bad thing. That it wasn't always destructive._

"Why did you take me there?" Misaki asked, quietly. Akihiko dared to take a look at him in the passenger seat and saw the light of the streetlamps outside flashing over him as the car drove down the road.

"It just felt right to. Did it make you uncomfortable?" Akihiko looked back at the road, aching for a release if it wasn't going to be holding Misaki. He needed a cigarette- but if he was going to teach Misaki not to drink in order to solve problems, he needed to display some constraint.

"No… just… significant." _Significant- yes. It was. I wonder if time will go back to normal pace once I kiss him on the lips. Or will I just trip on the small crack in this perfection? _

"You are significant." Akihiko smiled as he realised just how true that statement was. He was struck by the difference in feeling he was having now with Misaki as compared to the need to seduce him just last night. The small amount of dominance had licked on a nerve inside him that made him crave more. At that moment a settling relaxation was budding in his chest and he sighed with contentment.

* * *

Misaki

_I'm so happy. I feel like Usami-sensei and I have been together forever- we argue like… well, like Mum and Dad used to. But it's playful as well as passion… passionate. I feel like those arguments let out steam we both want to unload in an entirely opposite way. But is it right, really, that I should be feeling this way? One minute he's a complete pervert; got me pressed up against a doorpane, gasping for air as he strokes my throat, sat on his knee. The next he's holding me, secure and got me dancing on his feet. It calmed me down so much- the vertigo feeling I was getting from panicking so much about how I felt was pulled away. Now he's saying I'm significant. No one has ever said anything like that. There is a chance that he's only saying that to get me weak again… so he can re-enact a scene from whatever BL novel he's written..._

Misaki looked over at Akihiko, slightly stunned by the calm smile on Akihiko's face and the relaxed position he had assumed- one hand on the driving wheel, his other elbow leaning outside the open window. His silver hair was blowing gently in the warm evening breeze that was coming in and his eyes were cat-like in their cordial gaze. _No. He doesn't looked like he's on the prowl..._

The boy swallowed as he reluctantly took his eyes from the man's profile, looking down at his hands in his lap. _It's like we're together- like… properly together. I haven't felt this calm since I was younger, when Takahiro used to wipe my tears away when I missed our parents. I still miss my parents._

"Misaki? Are you okay?"

"Hmm? Yes, I'm fine. Fine." _I really am. No matter how dangerous he seems when he's inches from my body and has that edge to his eyes, I'm fine. Each of those four lessons my parents instilled in me must have been broken in some way whilst I've been with him. But it feels right that they have been…_

"Anything you want to talk about? I can lis-"


	20. At This Twist

Akihiko

_Holding onto what you're beginning to value over everything else can be a tricky task. You never know what's going to try and invade the protective circle you draw around that treasure, that genuine precious thing. Who knows, right when you're entirely certain your barriers will work, maybe something will come along and break down your confidence. Maybe someone else will try to seduce them. Maybe they'll run away from you out of their own will. Or maybe a car will come hurtling towards you and endanger them. It's all a matter of whatever God hasn't played for a while. I hope he's enjoying this card game- right now my Ace is in danger of being taken. I'm not enjoying that._

Akihiko's car swerved violently to the left side of the road as a silver Chevrolet screeched towards them at bone-cracking speed. Misaki gasped out Akihiko's name and Akihiko felt a lightning rod of responsibility stab through his body.

The abnormally cheery cries of three drunken guys standing in the back compartment of the Chevrolet rubbed at Akihiko's anger as his eyes widened and he sped into a grassy front garden to his left. The sports car slowed down to a stop in front of a small, white house.

* * *

Misaki

Misaki's breath was catching in his throat and a painful searing in his head made his eyes water as he gaped at the house in front of him. At first, he was barely aware that Akihiko had put his dinner jacket over him and left the car.

Heart squeezing and racing in his chest, Misaki turned his head and saw that Akihiko had walked over the now stopped Chevrolet. He was standing right in front of it, shoulders hunched in his white shirt and hands in fists as his nostrils flared. Even from five metres away, Misaki could see the narrow splinter of a glint in his large eyes.

* * *

Akihiko

"Move, old man! Get over it and have a laugh! We didn't even hit you," laughed the driver of the car, a balding man with a scraggy brown beard. The three in the back were leaning over the side of the back, all fairly young, very drunk guys with scrappy haircuts.

Akihiko did not move. He just remained standing there.

_Come on, pig. Come out here and give me that attitude once more. I dare you._

"I said move! Ahh man, am I gonna have to get out and push you?" _Try it. Just try it._ The driver got out of the car.

Akihiko wasn't threatened at all by how muscular the guy's tanned arms were and didn't blink as the guy slammed his door. _Walk towards me, come on._

The driver smirked and pull a knife from his baggy jeans, wiping the blade across his blue vest as he came closer to the taller Akihiko. "Do you really want to do this, grandpa?"

The second the driver was close enough, Akihiko snapped. His hand shot forward and grabbed his knife hand so hard that it trembled and dropped the weapon. Akihiko put his face right up to the guy's and smirked as he caught the handle of the knife in his free hand before kneeing him hard in the stomach, letting go of him at the same time.

The driver knocked back into the front of his car and before he could blink, Akihiko was right in his face again, blade on his throat and hand on his forearm. He twisted. The guy cried out in pain as he was forced to turn his body from Akihiko. Back to Akihiko, the guy whimpered as his torso was pushed into the bonnet.

"Yes, I really want to do this," Akihiko hissed, bending over the back of the guy as he shook pitifully. He twisted the guy's arm harder on his back and raised his knee to the guy's ass, threatening a painful push. "I really, really want to crush every bone in your body. I really, really, really want to slit your throat with this dirty blade. I really, really, really, really want to see you weep and beg for mercy as I kick you so hard in the balls that you'll have to walk around with an ice-pack on them for weeks. But you know what I want more?" The guy whimpered in response as the three guys in the back gaped, eyes wide. Akihiko leaned further forward, pressing the knife harder against his throat without cutting his neck. "I want to see you fucked so hard by your bitches in the back there, that you bleed. But, hey, you can't always get what you want. Get in your fucking car and drive, you prick."

Akihiko pulled back from the guy and pocketed the knife, glaring at the driver as he walked to his door quickly, bending over from the pain in his stomach. _I hope he hurls as he drives._

As the guy got in his seat and put his seatbelt on, sniffling, two guys from the back jumped out. They began to head to Akihiko's car, but Akihiko caught sight of them too quickly and in two seconds he had moved from the front of the car to the back.

* * *

Misaki

Misaki watched in ever increasing shock as Akihiko darted over to the two men now walking towards his car. In less than a minute he had punched them both in the nose and had hurled them back into their compartment. The Chevrolet drove away at a noticeably slower speed and after Akihiko had stood and watched, back to Misaki, he walked back to the car and got in.

"Misaki? Can you hear me? Don't speak- I'm sorry you saw that. We'll be home soon."

* * *

Akihiko

_Don't hold him yet, you'll never let go. Drive. Home. Get him out of harm's way. God, if you hadn't come here he wouldn't have been in danger._

Breathing fast, Akihiko started the car and made sure he didn't drive too fast- he didn't want anything to scare the already terrified Misaki. A minute before they got home, Akihiko noticed Misaki was shaking and a crashing of regret resounded inside him. _Is he scared of me? Shit. Shit, shit, shit._

They pulled into the garage smoothly and without a word, Akihiko got out of his seat and moved around the front of the car to open the door for Misaki. _He was that close to experiencing the same thing his parents died of- the same thing Takahiro just survived from. And it's all my fault._ Mouth tight and vision blurry with tears, Akihiko tried to sound strong for Misaki.

"Misaki… I'm sorry. Sorry."

"You got me out of it," Misaki said, deathly quiet as his hands clutched at Akihiko's coat, which was draped over his shaking body.

The tears in Akihiko's eyes dried out as he saw one tear after another drip from Misaki's. _He's forgiving me for putting him at such risk?_ "Thank you." All the breath in Akihiko's body pushed out in one silent blow at those two words. Akihiko shook his head a little.

* * *

Misaki

_He's got me. He saved me. It's not his fault that car came at us- it happens. It does. If Akihiko hadn't been the driver we wouldn't have survived. We wouldn't have. We wouldn't. We wouldn't have. We just wouldn't._

Misaki felt the strong arms of Akihiko under his legs and before he knew it he was being carried up the stairs, Akihiko's strong, solid chest against the side of his shaking body. He was in shock about the near crash. He was in shock at the way Akihiko saved them from it. He was in shock that he wasn't pushing Akihiko away, that he wasn't blaming it on him.

Once again, the apartment was unlit and dark and as more tears trickled down his face, he turned his head to lean into Akihiko's chest.

* * *

Akihiko

Akihiko walked through the living room as slowly and gently as he could and made sure Misaki was secure in his arms as he carried him up the stairs.

_There must be an angel somewhere smiling at this twist of fate- I don't know whether that near crash was played out in order to prove anything to Misaki or myself but I know one thing for sure: I'm going to do everything in my power to protect him from the screeches in life._

Silent, Akihiko's body moved like a shadow over the landing, the still shaking body of Misaki in his arms. The condo had a dreamy like darkness around it tonight and as Akihiko sat the shocked boy on his bed and slipped off his shoes, he felt a theory twist in his mind. _So many experiences have been shoved our way in the past three days- is God throwing everything he can at us in order to show how we'll always protect eachother? To show how made for eachother we are?_

Akihiko lay Misaki under the covers of his bed and took off the boy's shoes quietly before he put the knife in his bedside drawer and got under the covers of his bed as well.

He wrapped his arms around Misaki's body; Held him close; Breathed in every essence of the boy until his lungs were filled with recognition that this was where he belonged.

Misaki stopped shaking after a while. Akihiko made sure his embrace was as comforting and strong as possible.

* * *

Together

_The two survivors lay in their bubble, pressed to eachother. They lie and thank the stars. They just lay there and soon, they sleep. Hearts beating in time. Entwined._


	21. Dream

Ok, guys, this is a longer chapter than usual but I hope you'll all enjoy it, all the same. Please review, I think I worked harder on this chapter than the others. Thank you.

* * *

Misaki

_Floating, balancing and light in my dream, I walk down a brightly lit road- the streetlamps blare out the kind of light you see at stadiums… I'm confused and at the end of the road I see a silhouette of a man… or is it a car? I'm curious, so I keep walking forward, an odd fog misting up my vision. I get to the figure, suddenly, and it's a car. It's headlights are on. It's engine is revving. I'm in it's direct line. It's driving forward, coming at me like a starving monster and then I'm running, fast, sprinting, my feet hitting the ground so hard that pain shoots up my shins. Running, Running, Run-_

"Ah!" Misaki sat up in the bed, a layer of cold sweat over his trembling body. He was breathing hard and fast and his heart was punching so hard against his ribcage that he had to put a hand on his chest.

"Misaki?" Behind him, Akihiko leaned up on one elbow and rubbed his eyes. Misaki flinched and turned around, only to see the man staring at him with worry and sympathy. "Misaki, are you okay?"

Misaki turned back around, breathing slowing a tad- but his heart still punched, albeit feebly, inside him. He hadn't had that dream since he was eleven. It had been recurring, haunting and almost impossible to be rid of. Now it was back.

Without a word, Misaki crawled out of Akihiko's bed, his body tender with anxiety. Shoes slipped back on, he padded down the white stairs and headed to the kitchen. Leaning against the side of the stove, Misaki felt his nose twinge as tears began to fill his eyes.

_No. No, I'm not going to cry. I'm safe. It was just a dream. I'm fine. I'm fine. _

He stared up at the open door of Akihiko's room and felt a tremor of guilt etch in his mind. He needed to make it up to the man. The man who had said nothing and held him all night- Misaki was sure that if he hadn't been embraced so firmly there was no way he would have fallen asleep.

The memory of yesterday shimmered in his mind like it had been a dream- it had gone by so quickly and yet so lightly until the near crash. If he hadn't distracted Akihiko, maybe he would have pulled away from the car faster and they wouldn't have had to stop at all. He wouldn't have had to beat those guys up… that was Misaki's fault. What if the guys pressed charges?

Misaki felt sick. _Need to distract myself… need to say thank you to Akihiko._

He turned around and faced the kitchen he had scrubbed so furiously the day before and remembered there was nothing to make for breakfast. _I need some air._

* * *

Akihiko

Akihiko remained in his room for five minutes, contradicting thoughts flitting through him. _Should I go down there and comfort him? I want to hold him again and make sure he's okay… or maybe he needs some space._

Face half buried in the pillow, Akihiko closed his eyes and breathed in- the cookie dough smell of the boy was laying in the place he had been. The scent travelled down his throat and paced through his body, engulfing him. _I need to go down there._

Just as Akihiko got out of the bed he heard the front door close. More awake than ever, he shot out of his room and stared down at the living room. On the stove he saw a slip of white paper. _Misaki?_

He sped down the stairs and skidded to the note, picking it up in his hands.

_**Gone shopping- will be back soon. Thank you.**_

_Thank you?_ Akihiko stared down at the shaky handwriting- _He's not steady, I should follow him… besides, how will he pay for the shopping? Using his own money?_

In a minute, Akihiko had put his coat and shoes on, wallet in his pocket and a mission in mind. But a strange, unfamiliar voice in his mind stopped him in his tracks. _Maybe he really does need to be alone. He's a kid, yes, but he's not stupid. He knows his limits, doesn't he? Give him some credit._

Frustration evident on his face, Akihiko let go of the door handle and walked over to the settee, sinking into it. He realised with a jolt that a stain on the cushion next to him- one that had been there for months- was gone. He looked at the floors… he could almost see his reflection in them they were so clean. Had Misaki cleaned? _Must have been yesterday… hmm, I should let him be. Must distract myself though. Otherwise I'll just go out there and grab him. It's too soon for that, for him. Ok. Writing… new story… _A sly smile appeared on the man's face.

* * *

Misaki

Misaki rang the doorbell as he got to the door, two bags of food in his hands. His hair and his shoulders were soaked from the rain that was spitting from the sky and he was grateful for the shelter. After seconds of waiting for the buzz, Misaki pressed again. But, still, no one buzzed him in.

"Akihiko?" Misaki muttered under his breath, looking up to the top of the large building even though he knew it would do no good. He sighed and put the shopping bags down, index finger pressed on the buzzer permanently as he leaned against the wall by the door.

_He's doing it again- being a completely annoying git. It's like he can't be good without being frustrating straight afterwards. I should stop thinking of him so badly, actually… He's definitely inside, though- his car is right there. Has he fallen asleep again?_

"Misaki?" came Akihiko's voice through the speaker.

"Yes! Can you let me in?" Finally, the buzz came.

Misaki got to the top of the building and walked through the opened door of Akihiko's condo. He dumped the shopping bags on the counter and shrugged off his shirt, putting it over the radiator next to the door. _Ok, let's get to work._

Just as he made a step to start unpacking the bags and start cooking, however, two arms wrapped around his shoulders and pulled him backwards. Before he knew it, his back was pressed into the front of Akihiko's body as they sat on the sofa.

"Usami-sensei! What are you do-"

"How do you feel?" _I feel like I'm being hugged by a bear… I feel safe… I'm wishing I could turn around and hug him back… but it's not right… I'm realising that now. It's not right._

"Fine! Let me up!" Misaki struggled against Akihiko's arm, eyes set on the kitchen but his attempts were futile. _I was thinking this as I was shopping- no matter how good it feels to have Akihiko around me, it's not right for me or him. I felt so at home in his arms last night that my tears were stopped and replaced with a smile. The touches are too perfect, too right for us to be together- I'd be jeopardising his work._ Akihiko's embrace tightened and Misaki swore he heard the man give out one short exhale… like a bull. "Usami-sensei! I need to make breakfast!"

"I don't need breakfast," Akihiko replied, voice low and quiet.

"I just got soaked in the rain buying you food so I could cook!" Misaki barked back, hands tight around Akihiko's forearms. His head turned to look at Akihiko and Misaki saw an unfamiliar darkness pooling around the violets of his eyes. "U-Usami-sensei?" Misaki asked, a little scared.

* * *

Akihiko

A spiralling spear of pure want was coursing its way through Akihiko's system. Misaki's struggle was only pushing the spear further and it was with a bitter one-mindedness that he released the boy from his grasp… only to stand up and push him, one hand on the boy's chest, to the wall by the door.

_I don't know what it is that is making my blood boil at his pursuit to keep pushing me after everything that's happened- we shouldn't be together at all. But his denial of the blatant fact we're meant to be with eachother… Just. Pisses. Me. Off. Why did I have to be matched with this naïve kid? Why did I have to fall for him? Why do I have to be turned on by his lips, trembling slightly?_

The phone started to ring as Akihiko glared down into the boy's bottle-green eyes. One hand still on the middle of Misaki's chest, Akihiko reached out with his other hand and picked up the receiver.

"Akihiko? Akihiko! You dick! Why did you leave last night; I said there would be signings- Meg Ling was waiting for you to sign a copy of her new film!" Ryuichiro, Akihiko's editor, yelled down the phone. Akihiko didn't even blink, his eyes fixed on Misaki's as he spoke dispassionately back.

"I had other concerns- I did what I said I would in the contract: made an appearance."

"You prick, you know we need to make sales on this bo-"

"The book is more than good enough to sell by itself."

"Akihiko, get your ass down to The Publishing House, now! I swear I'll-" But Ryuichiro's threat was cut off as Akihiko hung up the phone.

Throughout the phone-call Misaki had remained unmoving and politely quiet- this was all blown away as soon as the phone was down.

"Let me go, you bastard!"

"You haven't seen an inch, kid." _You will do, though._

"Ah!" Misaki gasped as Akihiko leaned forward, face right in front of his. "I don't want…N-No…"

* * *

Misaki

_And here he is again, right in my face, thrusting every other thought in my head away. It's just one big mess, blank as he touches me. I didn't want to call him a bastard, but I'm saying no and he's not budging!_

Misaki tried to push Akihiko away but the man grabbed his wrists and pushed them above Misaki's head. Misaki cried out and bowed his head, eyes squeezed shut.

_This isn't right! Let alone the fact we're both guys, he's a teacher at my school! He's done so much for me and I've let him because it feels so safe, but I will not be the reason for anything negative in his life. I need to show that I don't want this…_

"No, Usami-sensei… No."

"There is no point in pushing me away. This was done the second I looked at you."

"Gahh… Please," Misaki whispered, as Akihiko's hand stroked down his t-shirt with a feather-light brush of his fingers. The second Akihiko's cool touch verged on going under Misaki's t-shirt, Misaki really did begin to struggle, squirming from side to side in an attempt to escape. But, dominant as ever, Akihiko managed to trace his icy finger up over Misaki's stomach, over the middle of his ribcage and by the time Misaki's knees were starting to feel weak, Akihiko's finger was silking its way over Misaki's collarbone. Misaki's stomach swooped and he started the breathe shakily.

* * *

Akihiko

Akihiko inclined his head, leaning his forehead on Misaki's and smirking.

_I've shown him a side of me that hasn't come out in years… not since Hiroki, when we were children. I managed to fit into that old costume of affection, compassion… consideration. But, by God, no other person on this planet has had me change so quickly from that costume to this outfit of pure, fucking desire. His skin is so soft; eyes so wide from being closed- he's just begging to get it._

Akihiko's smirk curled upwards more as he felt his body assume the stance he knew would dominate Misaki, because he knew he was going to show him some form of pleasure, be it sweet or damn near tortuous.

"Stop touching me, stop!" Misaki gasped. Akihiko felt Misaki's stomach tighten as he lightly pressed his whole hand against it, with the intention of sending shivers to every undiscovered area in his body. It got the desired effect straight off, as Misaki's head rolled back against the wall, so Akihiko was now eye-level with his throat. He blew coolly against Misaki's skin as his fingers arched in and out over Misaki's stomach like an ever-blooming flower- in and out.

* * *

Misaki

Electric shocks ignited every nerve in Misaki's body as Akihiko traced his cold nose around the perimeter of his throat. As the man's lips grazed over the side of his neck, Misaki nearly fell to the ground. His mind nearly clouded over completely with the thrill of every little action Akihiko made. _I don't know what he wants to do…_ Misaki's hands balled into tighter fists above in his head, in Akihiko's clamp. _But what he's doing so far has me lost for words, lost for motion… It makes sense, though, that he should want to be with me like this… after all, all those BL Novels I saw on the shelves when I was cleaning next to the smaller versions of his office bear… He's just perverted… _

"You're just addicted to having some form of power over people, aren't you?!" Misaki suddenly shouted, frustration increasing in his body as he lied to himself- _You don't want him to keep touching you, it's just hormones_. He'd shouted in order to gain some sense of reality in the dream Akihiko was creating. No matter how much his shout made sense, however, Misaki knew he didn't mean it.

"Power's boring," Akihiko replied, voice cool and icy by Misaki's ear. His grip on Misaki's wrists tightened and his long hand smoothed upwards to stay pressed against Misaki's ribcage.

_But you have it… over me. _Misaki's determination was beginning to thaw under Akihiko's caresses and it annoyed him more than he could express. _He's only ever touched me, though… come to think of it…_

"Stop touching me," Misaki said, voice strained as Akihiko breathed behind Misaki's ear, his index finger stroking up the middle of his chest. "It's all you ever do. There's never anything… anything…" Gently, Akihiko planted a kiss right under Misaki's jaw line. Misaki's skin melted under Akihiko's lips.

_He's kissed me on my skin before… once… why do I so badly want him to kiss my… my…_

"Anything…?"Akihiko probed, teasingly, the hand on Misaki's wrist moving slightly so his finger could stroke up the centre of one of Misaki's clammy palms.

"Real," Misaki finished, defiantly, with the last of the vocal energy he had. His body loosened at his final effort.

Akihiko let his wrists go and as Misaki's arms fell to his sides, Akihiko slipped his hand from under Misaki's t-shirt. The happy anticipation in Akihiko's eyes both calmed Misaki and made his body tense again. Lightly laying his hand on Misaki's cheek, Akihiko stroked his thumb over Misaki's cheekbone, leaning forward carefully.

Misaki's eyes were near to closing with the haze of the man's scent and the depth of his large, dark amethyst eyes.

His lips became moist with the warmth between both men as Akihiko's cool breath mingled with Misaki's rising heat.

"Nothing real?" Akihiko whispered, so low that Misaki almost didn't hear him. _I meant… God, form thoughts… I meant physi… physically… You saved m-me, I know…_ Even Misaki's thoughts were stuttering due to the proximity of the man and it scared him how desperately he yearned to touch Akihiko with his lips. "Hmm, we'll have to remedy that…" _Every muscle in my body in clenched. The pain and desperation is almost making me pant. You're not trapped any more, though, Misaki. Why don't you move? You could… but you don't want to, do you?_

And then Akihiko's lips were on his. Soft. Four fingers ran through the side of Misaki's hair, channelling ripples of sensation down his neck and as the breath caught in his throat, Akihiko nudged Misaki's top lip with his bottom one, parting his lips.

His tongue, slippery and silky, glossed over Misaki's and Misaki's hands stretched out by his side. The rapture was colliding with the passion, swallowing him up so painfully slowly. But the pleasure was undeniable and when Akihiko cradled Misaki's head with one hand, the boy could do nothing but lean his head back. Weak. A smouldering, cold fire was blossoming in the bottom of Misaki's stomach and in an act of pure desperation, he clung to the sides of Akihiko's shirt.

Akihiko pulled his lips, languidly, back from Misaki's, smiling slightly. After only a second of looking at the blush in Misaki's cheeks and feeling the tightness of Misaki's hands on his shirt, Akihiko gave in and leaned forward again. He covered Misaki's lower lip with both of his own and turned his head to the side, moving both his hands in Misaki's hair, supporting his head.

Everywhere in Misaki's body throbbed. His heart was flashing like an S.O.S., beaconing out for a breath of pure air, but all of Misaki's concentration was set on Akihiko. Swept away.

With a rush of euphoria and instinct, Misaki dared to respond and pushed his tongue towards Akihiko's lips, gingerly. As the man felt the small tongue glide over his flesh, a simultaneous burst of bliss swelled over his heart and, won over, he wrapped an arm around Misaki's small waist. Supporting him throughout.


	22. Since When

Hey there- sorry this update has come so late, I've been really busy lately and, sadly, haven't found time to keep this story going. There will be faster updates, as before, from tomorrow. Till then, I hope you enjoy this chapter and comment ^^'  


* * *

Misaki

_It feels like stars are shooting to every part of my body… man, that sounds soppy… but it's true. How can this man make me so useless and yet give me all this adrenaline at the same time? Why do I feel like this is the first kiss of many more… many more kisses I want, many more kisses I wont want initially… and now his arm is around my waist and my arms are reaching up to hold around his neck… this feels so right. So. Right._

Akihiko

_The way his arms reach up around my neck makes me smile to myself but I'm not sure if he can sense the smile through our kiss. This kiss. This almighty burning of something that's been begging to be done for so long. I may be supporting him but somehow it's like he's the one passing energy into me, giving me the fire to make him arch his body into mine so. _

Misaki

Misaki couldn't help but whimper under his breath as Akihiko turned his head and skimmed his lips over his cheek, kissing so softly under his jaw that Misaki felt like he was a man who had been held for the first time. Well… this was the first time he'd been held like this. He found himself desperate to be closer to the solid figure of Akihiko, could feel his blood racing so fast through his veins that he was sure the man kissing him could feel it too. With a seductive, breathless voice, Akihiko said,

"Nothing real?" _I don't think you can get more real than that,_ Misaki thought. Misaki's chest was heaving with his breaths and his whole body was stunned with the effect Akihiko had had on him. What was more, he actually felt cold when Akihiko unwrapped his generally sub-zero body from his.

Misaki looked up at Akihiko, unable to express his emotions through any motion. He simply stared at Akihiko looked down at him with a very unexpected expression of sadness mingled with desire.

"You should go and make breakfast since you went to the trouble of going out and buying it… thank you, by the way, for cleaning the place." Akihiko's words were somewhat stunted as he lowered his gaze from Misaki's. Then, he turned around and walked over to the staircase. Speechless, Misaki watched as Akihiko climbed the stairs and, almost robotically, went to his office. And shut the door.

_There he goes again… leaving me after such a show of affection… was it something I did? Did he realise what a kid I am? Why am I about to cry? I feel like a pressure has been lifted from my shoulders… but then pushed into my chest. It feels like there's a bird, fluttering in there, desperate to be let out. It's wings are beating… so fast… He's just proven something I didn't know I was questioning- is he everything I would want? Yes. I'm eighteen. Eighteen. That's double nine… two years from twenty… is that too young for him? I hate not knowing for certain whether or not I like the way he acts or if I'm just swayed by how well he knows how to touch me…_

Misaki turned around, on his heel and walked to the dumped shopping bags, a shout on the top of his tongue. What he wanted to do was race up those stairs and confront Akihiko about his lack of consistency… but since when did Akihiko have an obligation to stay with Misaki? _Since he took me into his home and drove me to my injured brother. Since he got me out of a car crash. Since… he argued with me._ It startled Misaki, as he cracked open two eggs into a frying pan, how he found that he actually loved arguing with Akihiko. No one aside from Takahiro had taken the time to put that kind of energy into him.

And it was only day four… Was he paying too much attention to the time span? Probably. But he couldn't help being stunned by the intensity Akihiko brought to his world… his pretty much dire world. Before he had properly met Usami Akihiko, his little earth had spun on a slow spinning axis and all he had been able to see in his sky was a bunch of white clouds on an admittedly nice blue. It was so simple- he would go to college and get a job. Now his sky had been streaked with rays of golden light and on one side he could see a night sky, speckled with stars.

_AH! Since when was I so slushy?_

Frustrated at himself, Misaki sliced the loaf of bread with more force than necessary, grumbling to himself as he made one slice uneven.

Akihiko

_When did kissing someone mean so much? That kind of connection never rises… ever. I've only ever written those kind of… sparks. What I wouldn't give to go down there and make those sparks into a full-blown fire. But no. We made that decision when we turned away from him, didn't we? No more touching, no more moving down a path of seduction. If you truly care for him, you'll let him go now, before he gets swept away._

Akihiko's hands scrunched in his hair as he sat, in the dark, in his office. On the sofa. Listening to the homely sounds of Misaki preparing breakfast. It almost made him weep to hear the boy going about the project- it was just so natural… it sounded so routine. So lovely.

_He's eighteen and what right do you have to seduce him? None. Your job was to look after him and keep an eye on him. He has plans of his own- normal plans. He doesn't need me in his life, cluttering up his clarity._

He flinched slightly as three knocks came at the closed door and watched Misaki's shadow grow as he leaned down and the clink of a plate was heard. Then the shadow was gone and the soft padding of Misaki going to his room covered up Akihiko's gentle whispers.

"Misaki… Misaki." _Why should such a young, naïve boy make him feel so alive? Why was every second with Misaki a new experience?_

The phone started to ring downstairs. Reluctantly, Akihiko pulled himself from his self-indulgent melancholy and got up from the sofa, walking to the door and opening it. A plate of toast in soldiers, fried eggs and bacon was sat, modestly, on the floor. It was the most beautiful thing. After standing there for seconds on end, phone still ringing, Misaki came out of his room. Akihiko looked up, calmly, and smiled as he saw a stain of egg yolk on his t-shirt. Then, looking further up, he saw there was egg yolk on the corner of Misaki's mouth as well. Bluntly, Misaki asked,

"Wouldn't it be a good idea to pick that up?" Akihiko said nothing, still in love with the scruffy appearance of the boy. Misaki blinked and, unimpressed, sighed as he went down the stairs.

"Usami Akihiko's residence. Ah! Takahiro! How are you?" Akihiko's eyes widened as he saw Misaki smile and hold the phone closer to his ear. "Yes. I'm… everything's fine!" _Fine… just fine? _Akihiko didn't know where to take offence to that first. _My kisses- just fine? _But it was the falter in Misaki's voice that stung Akihiko the most and as he went down the stairs as well, it felt like an icicle was scratching, subtly, over his heart. _Fine. I knew you were too young. I should have listened to my first instinct. Let's see how you feel._ "Err…" Misaki looked up from the phone, his shock evident as he saw Akihiko was right next to him, his eyes boring down into him. "He's right here."


	23. Race And Sink

Here's a chapter for today- sorry, guys, if you're not liking the story . Please comment and say whatever you feel.

* * *

Misaki

_What right does he have to be in a mood with me? It's not like I've done anything wrong… or is he just annoyed at how I've been arguing with him? Is it that I'm not doing enough? He did say thank you for cleaning the place… I appreciate that… But then why is he glaring at me in that unique way of his…. Eyes hooded, the shadows under his violet eyes instantly darker… just go and do your homework, Misaki. Stop thinking. It'll only get you more confused… God, this is the same man who was just kissing you… more like kidding you._

Akihiko

Misaki passed the phone to Akihiko and let out a very small gasp as Akihiko held Misaki's wrist and leaned right near his face as he got the phone with his other hand. His eyes were fixed on the corner of Misaki's mouth.

"Takahiro," he greeted, voice happy but face definitely not. Misaki heard his brother coo on the other end of the phone and tried not to yelp… as Akihiko licked the corner of his mouth.

"Akihiko! How's it going? Is Misaki being a pain?" _In my ass, yes. Is that a problem? No._

Akihiko leaned back and stood up, eyes off Misaki as the boy stood there stunned.

"No, he's not a bother at all. He's actually pretty dull, to be honest, Takahiro. You should encourage him to have a social life." Akihiko grinned evilly to himself at the evil comment as Misaki gaped at him, eyes narrowed.

Then, as Misaki went slowly up the stairs, Akihiko heard a sentence that made all his prominence die… again he was watching his mother being pulled away from him… it terrified how he connected these two experiences together…

"I'm going to be taking Misaki to America!" Takahiro cheered on the other end of the phone. _Takahiro was going to take this little brat from me? No. Way._

"I… how is that going to work?" Akihiko asked, trying not to sound too concerned.

"We have a couple of colleges for him to enlist in over here- we're both sure he'll love it." _Well, I think he'll hate it_.

"Does Misaki know?"

"Well, we're flying out the day after tomorrow, actually. I'm going to be coming round this evening, if that's okay? Oh and can he stay there one more night, including tonight?"

"Yes, of course," Akihiko replied, voice hoarse. He'd only just begun to get to know the kid he… did he…

Misaki

Misaki sat at his desk in his room, feeling strangely at home. The room was just so nice… and he was still extremely touched by the flash cards Akihiko had hung from the ceiling. He was motionless, pen held over his homework, as he listened to the conversation Akihiko and Takahiro were having. Though, of course, he only heard Akihiko's side of things.

"I… How is that going to work?" he heard Akihiko ask. _How is what going to work?_

"Does Misaki know?" _Argh, I'm getting sick of tingling every time he says my name… in that low voice… I… hold on, what am I supposed to know?_

"Yes, of course." _That bastard better not be making a decision for me._ "We'll see you tomorrow evening, then. Would you like me to say anything to… Ok. How are you feeling by the way?" _He feels better, I know that… he just told me that when I asked him!_ "Good." Akihiko paused. Then, "Are you sure it will be a good idea to fly, even so?" Misaki heard an unexpected tone of victory in his voice. Then it sunk in. _Fly?? But… I've barely seen him…_ It struck Misaki that he wasn't sure if he was sadder about seeing less of his brother or having too short a time with Usami Akihiko.

He heard the phone being put down and as the sounds of Akihiko coming upstairs met his ready ears, Misaki put his pen on the page. There was a single knock at his door.

"What do you want?" Misaki asked, not regretting the moodiness in his voice. There was a definite pause. Then,

"Well, you." _Bastard, don't begin saying stuff like that._ "But, it appears you're going to be going away. Open the door." _Going away…_

Misaki stood up and opened his door, blushing instantly as Akihiko licked his lips, an evil glint in his eye.

"Why did you do that!"

"Because you're delicious." Misaki scowled at the comment.

"I meant downstairs… why did you lick my mouth?"

"You had egg yolk on the corner of it and I thought I was doing you a service." Misaki raised an eyebrow, humiliated as Akihiko laughed at his action. "Anyway, I have news to tell you. You'll be going back with Takahiro to America. Isn't that just…" the man donned an American accent, "Swell."

Misaki felt his heart race and sink at the same time. He could sense an iciness around Akihiko that somewhat resembled bitterness but at the same time he felt a strong force pushing him to embrace the man who was smiling so fakely at him. Leaning against the doorway. Arms folded over his muscular chest in defiance…

Akihiko

For seconds, Misaki just blinked at Akihiko was remained staring at him like he was a baby learning his first word- shocked and immaturely confused. Akihiko could feel his heart squeezing, painfully, in his chest. He felt like if he uncrossed his arms his heart might bang out of his chest and hit Misaki. But that would be no different to what Akihiko had been doing so far, would it? He'd been throwing these emotions at him wildly, expecting the kid to understand that the arrow had been sent. It had soared to them and pierced through both of them. It was equally likely Akihiko was being overly romantic, overly intense. But he could not deny the collapse of certainty in his life… in the place of that tower was passion like he'd never even imagined. And Akihiko had a very strong imagination.

His eyes wandered over Misaki's face, a dangerous lust flicking in his stomach, his hands almost aching to touch him and make him whimper like that again… oh… to even hear him say his name in a moan. But the boy was leaving. And Akihiko would just have to bite the sentimental bullet. No matter how everything seemed to fit. No matter how starry-eyed Misaki so obviously was… even if he wouldn't admit it. _I'd actually be over the moon if he let me love him… him loving me is a later matter for him to admit… but I'm not going to get that chance._

Akihiko glanced, uninterestedly, over his shoulder, away from Misaki. He was hurt. So he inevitably wound up on an unstoppable course of hurting others.

"You know what I think? I think you were swapped at birth to your family from a family of goldfish."

"That makes no sense," Misaki responded, glowering.

"It will once you look in a mirror every time you gape idiotically at someone telling you something." Misaki blushed.

"Make a bloody decision, asshole! First you're kissing me, saving me from crashes, taking me to your publishing nights… then you're yelling at me and criticising me! You think that just because you're good at… at… touching people-" Misaki looked down at his feet at this point, but his voice was still full of force- "that you can get them to do whatever you want!"

_He's so young and so bloody ignorant. I think it's the fact I know he's just trying to work out right and wrong that I love. He's always out to work out justice. I want to see him fight forever… he comes across spiteful, maybe, to others… but no. It's courageous. No one usually has the nerve to yell at me like this…_

"I will do whatever I want," Akihiko concluded, walking away to his office.


	24. Inaudible Gulp

I Hope you guys are enjoying this story- there will be more to come and I hope you like this chapter ^^'

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Akihiko

_I want him to come racing to my office door as I eat this cold breakfast. I want to grab him again. Oh. God! Where did that come from?_

An overpowering pelting of lust crashed over him as he raised another forkful of egg to his mouth.

_His mouth had been so warm… so hot… oh… god… is his mouth like what his…_

Akihiko felt his muscles tighten with the thought of being inside Misaki. He dropped his fork, not hungry for food any more, although the breakfast was top standard. It felt like his body had gone numb from the power of the kiss. It had only just hit him how alive it had made it feel, how different the kiss was. He felt like ying and yang had been locked together…

No doubt about it, the boy was inexperienced… but from the way he acted on instinct, Akihiko just knew that if he had kissed him any further he would not have been able to resist kissing him Every. Where. Else.

He felt himself harden and subconsciously reached for the pack of cigarettes on his computer desk and as he lay down on the couch, he closed his eyes. He imagined the passion he could let out on Misaki. He imaged the pleasure Misaki would be in… the thought of Misaki's cries made him harder still. _What the heck… might as well take advantage of the next forty-eight hours. I wont touch him, but hell, might as well enjoy it…_He lit his cigarette as his office door slammed open.

Misaki

_I had had it. This was enough, truly. Enough. After minutes of sitting in my room, every inch of me pounding, I was done. I'd thought over everything. Every experience... and now Takahiro was saying I was supposed to come with him to America? Well, see how twisted Akihiko's made you! Normally you'd jump for joy at the opportunity of seeing your brother more... now you're about as excited as a sheep having it's wool shaved off. If this man is going to push these feelings my way then he should know they aren't completely unwelcome… but he's frustrated the hell out of me! Akihiko is… undeniably…_

"You look very sexy standing there in my doorway, Misaki." _How does he steal words from my mind? I was just about to think, just __think_, _that he was sexy and he says it first. Hold on, did he just call me sexy?_

"What is your problem?" Misaki barked. "You write these BL novels as an obvious release for whatever perverse feelings you have-"

"Have you read any of them? Or are you too much of a prude?" Akihiko interrupted.

Misaki puffed up his chest and ploughed on through his prepared speech.

"And you treat me like some sort of… guinea pig! Don't laugh!" Misaki's glare was obvious even in the unlit office. "You act all nice one minute and then you're evil the next! I'm grateful for you letting me stay here but if we're going to have two more days together, why don't we just leave eachother alone! We'll just end up fighting, otherwise. I don't want to disrespect you any more, not after all the really good things you've done for me."

Akihiko

Akihiko blinked over at Misaki before he took a calm suck on his cigarette, pleasantly surprised by Misaki's almost inaudible gulp as he licked his bottom lip simply to make it less dry.

_I don't want you caught up in the dark, tangled web of my world, Misaki. At the same time, I want to have you in my arms right now… sweating out the pleasure I push into you._

"I'll stay out of your way if you stay out of mine."

Misaki

_Argh, he sounded like a kid_.

With nothing more to say, Misaki left Akihiko's doorway and went to his own room.

He recalled how Akihiko had slipped off his shoes on the night he had felt so ill. He remembered Akihiko driving him to his brother. He recollected the feeling of intense security as Akihiko had held him all night after the car crash… that had been yesterday.

_Yesterday? No… it feels so long ago. I had that nightmare this morning… how am I forgetting all these pivotal things? Is it Akihiko?_

Akihiko

The rest of the day passed with undesirable boredom and at a very slow pace. Akihiko remained in his office all day, exiting only to pick up one plate at noon and another at six in the evening. He was astounded by Misaki's culinary skills- the prawn sandwich at lunch was delicious and the egg fried noodles with aubergine and chilli peppers made his stomach rumble for more.

As Akihiko heard Misaki moving about downstairs, a sombre feeling of regret that the boy was leaving settled inside him. The clinks of the pots and pans actually being used made him smile. All at once, the lonely, successful had been given a muse, a sparring partner and a prospective lover. And rules of the land told him to resist.

Misaki

Misaki remained mainly closeted in his room as well, head buried in school textbooks and hung over seemingly endless essays. He didn't want to think about going to America with Takahiro. His feelings on the matter would just confuse him more.

Sitting there, with his pen scribbling, Misaki felt like he had come to the end of a fast and short race. Every experience with Akihiko, especially his publishing night, seemed so light and forgettable. All Misaki could think about was the tall, broad-shouldered, silver-haired man with him. The setting didn't bother Misaki half as much as he thought it should do. There was only white space around Akihiko hugging Misaki or Akihiko standing at a podium, beaming; swerving away from an invisible car or standing topless in his own bedroom.

He was more than confused about the attraction he had for the older man. He had cleaned Akihiko's home to the best of his ability and throughout his scrubbing he had come across more than unusual objects- surely it wasn't natural for a guy to have so may teddy bears in one room. Misaki didn't think it right that he judged the matter, but he was curious as to the significance of the bears. The endless piles of books, which were now stacked as orderly as Misaki had been able to managed, had both impressed and shocked him. The ashtrays that were scattered on every surface of the place actually made Misaki smile in a bittersweet way. He felt so at home in this madhouse. He felt so at home wrapped in Akihiko's arms... that time in the car when Akihiko had forced Misaki to raise his chin... it still sent shivers around his body. He didn't know Akihiko's exact motives for the incident but felt they had something to do with dominance... not in a violent way... was it that Akihiko actually got a kick out of seeing Misaki in such torturous pleasure?  
_Probably..._

To get his mind away from thoughts of Akihiko's deep eyes and swift, silky tongue, Misaki thought it best to cook the food he had bought. He made sandwiches at noon. Then returned to his homework after leaving the plate, wordlessly, at Akihiko's office door. At five he went back down to the kitchen and made dinner, repeating the speechless routine. Distracted by the routine, Misaki had thought,

_I wonder if he's okay, writing in there…_ Then the thought that the author might be writing one of those BL novels instead of one of his hard-hitting masterpieces sidled into his mind. Disgruntled, he had returned to his room. He ate his food. He spoke to a few friends on the laptop. Then stopped after feeling guilty for using it.

Both men fell asleep after working. Both felt a horrible sense of depression cascade over them. Both wanted to be spooned to eachother again, like last night…

Misaki

_Just for that security I won't find anywhere else… that solidarity… And at the same time, I want to be there for him too… even though I know I shouldn't…_

Akihiko

_To have him near me so I know he's safe… to feel his warmth… to hold him close and let him know there's someone on this planet that adores every inch of him… even though I've only known him a week…_


	25. Quench

Hello there- I know this update has come ridiculously late and I'm sorry if I've made you wait and then you read this and it actually wasn't worth it... I hope you do =/  


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Misaki

_I was floating again, down a wide road… there was a bright light at the end… something too bright… a silhouette… something not quite real… A small part of me was trying to grab 'me' from the road and away from the shadow in the bright light. A part of my conscious self was shivering. Cold sweat… Cold hands… feet still pacing towards the light, still trying to push myself out of the way at the same time… same time… same. Time. _

"Ah!" Misaki jolted out of his nightmare, breathing fast and air tight in his aching throat. He felt a film of tears cover his eyes before he blinked them away, cursing himself. _It's just a nightmare. Just a… nightmare…_ It still hadn't quite sunken in that he had almost been in a car crash the night before last. He could tell by the light navy light coming in under his door that it was early morning.

_Car crash…_ Pant, pant, pant. _Are they really that common or… or has someone divine decided that I should have gone with my parents… or… Oh. God._ Pant, pant._ I need to get out of here._ Deep breath._ These days in this apartment have been nothing but one big whoosh. Akihiko, that enigma of a man… touching me, holding me, just being there for me… why… why aren't I scared of him… isn't he the very replica of the warnings people are constantly raving on about?_

"No, I just think that maybe…" The rest of Akihiko's words were muffled from downstairs. Swallowing, Misaki put a hand to the back of his neck as he felt a wash of relief pass over his body- _Akihiko's here. It's fine. Everything's fine._ Such an instantaneous feeling of security with the man made Misaki's head go fuzzy with confusion. _Why him? He's so egotistical… but… always there…_

"Akihiko, with all due respect, he's my brother and-" _Takahiro!_ Misaki shot from his bed and skidded to the door, pulling it open and looking over the banister into the large living room.

Sure enough, Misaki could see the back of his brother's black-haired head as he sat opposite Usami Akihiko. The silver-haired man looked up the instant Misaki's bedroom door opened and raised his head from the fist he had been balancing it on. Takahiro turned his head a second later.

"Misaki? Are you okay?" Akihiko asked, eyes wider than natural for a man who had known him four days. Takahiro did not seem to notice the concern in Akihiko's voice.

"I-I'm fine, thank you." Misaki gave Akihiko a small smile before he looked to his brother. "How are you?"

Upon coming down the stairs and seeing the cast on Takahiro's leg, Misaki swallowed.

"Would you like some tea?"

"No, Misaki, thank you. Akihiko has already made me some," Takahiro smiled. "I'm sorry if I woke you, I intended to be here earlier tonight so that you and I could talk about the leaving plan, but there was traffic. Akihiko was, thankfully, awake."

_Oh. Right. The leaving plan. God, this is fast… Why do I feel so choked up about it? It would be an amazing opportunity. I should be happy about it._ _Smile and nod at your brother instead of looking down at your feet. _

"Sit down, Misaki. Have some tea." Misaki complied to his brother's wishes, sitting opposite Akihiko who was scarily still. He did not, however, reach for any tea.

Akihiko's eyes held a very pensive appearance and Misaki flinched as Akihiko stood up as soon as he sat down. The man flicked on the main light and Misaki and Takahiro squinted for a minute as they adjusted themselves to the light. Straight after, Akihiko was sitting back down with the same stone like immobility and thinking expression on his face as he leaned forward, mouth pressed to the sides of his index fingers.

Akihiko

_Damn this senseless bout of protectiveness, this undying need to snatch Misaki from his brother. Granted, granted, I don't know him extremely well but I love the person I become with his every defiant or nervous action. I love the person Misaki is. I feel like I comprehend his nervousness far more than anyone else could… like the trait some may perceive as naivety… I know it to be a self-flagellation for the fact he doesn't know… and he likes to know a lot so he wont offend anyone… _

"Misaki, I know this is extraordinarily rushed, but how do you feel about coming with Manami and I?"

Akihiko glanced up at the boy and noticed the slightly stunned expression his face held. Misaki looked down into his lap and Akihiko couldn't help but notice the way his matching blue pyjamas- matching being a phenomenon to the erratic author- hung off his attractively petite body. _Maybe it is just a physical attraction I have for him… he has been nothing but explosive whilst he's been here… but who am I to talk? Besides, I'm supposed to be the adult in the situation… Lord. I'm supposed to be the mature one. Why isn't he saying anything to Takahiro?_

"Misaki? Are you okay?" Takahiro asked, twisting his body a little towards his younger brother, his casted leg seemingly stuck to the ground with its stiffness.

"Yes, I'm fine. Just tired." _You're confused is what you are._

"I'm sure you'll love it in America, brother. It's so big and there are so many things to see and do-"

"What part of America, Takahiro?" Takahiro did not seem phased by Akihiko's interruption. He smiled, genuinely, as he replied.

"New York." _That'll be too busy for him. He'll panic. Might decide to turn to alcohol again. He didn't do anything harmful two days ago. But who knows how he could harm himself._

Misaki

Misaki was looking down into his lap, eyes blurry and face expressionless.

_America would be amazing. It would be even more amazing if Akihiko came too, though… I think I've had more fun arguing with him than I have any of my friends… If I was in trouble, I'd call him…_

"So, Misaki- Again, I know it's rushed, but what do you think?" _Your loyalty is to your brother, Misaki._

Akihiko

_Do what you want to, Misaki…_

"It sounds great." Misaki looked up with an almost detectably fake smile on his suddenly bright face. Akihiko closed his eyes slowly and tried to block out Takahiro's exclamation of satisfaction. He tried not to pay attention, as he reopened his eyes, to the enthusiastic hug the brothers shared.

He tried to quench to stabbing pain in his stomach.


	26. Reverie

Here is yet another late update- I hope those of you who are reading this can enjoy it =)

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Akihiko

_What could be worse than a man having such strong affection for one at least half his age? It's suffocating and disturbingly, unaesthetically depressing. So sudden. So claustrophobic… hah… that word… sounds like choking. Am I being over the top? Is this my twisted version of a mid-life crisis? I should be alone- that's how I work best, that's how I get these novels published. Lord. Is it just lust?_

"W-When are we leaving?" Misaki piped. Akihiko sighed to himself and looked up, a flaw-free smile on his new mask of a face. _Let him go- it's just the way his eyes change depending on his mood… it's just that he fights back… it's so refreshing for you that you desire him. He's not for you. He has a life. Let him lead it._

"Day after tomorrow. I'll come and get you tomorrow night, okay?" At this, Takahiro gave a questioning look to Akihiko.

"Of course, that's fine. What of Misaki's apartment around the corner?"

"I was paying rent for it through a direct account- I'll break it off tomorrow," Takahiro explained, a reinvigorated smile on his now tired face.

"Hm," Akihiko acknowledged, his eyes subtly diverted to the corner of the table that stood between him and the two reunited brothers. _Reunited… how brilliant for them. God. What would Takahiro do if he found out how I had tried to seduce his little brother? Damn… he doesn't even know about the car crash._ But it struck Akihiko, as the two brothers spoke- a now distant murmur to the past-distracted author- that it was the little moments that had really caught his breath in the most poignant way.

Misaki in the bar, intoxicated only by three or so drinks. The softness of his skin as he had kissed his neck…

The brilliance of watching him sleep, so unbelievably cute. His breaths slow and rhythmic…

Having Misaki by his side, leading him away from the drinks table, getting him away from the first sip that would have inevitably led to a rapid of worries for Takahiro.

Kicking the foolish driver who had almost driven into them. The feeling of having something to protect… no, someone he _wanted_ to protect.

_Having him in my arms… having his fire so near my body…_

"Akihiko?"

"Hm?" The man pulled himself out of his reverie.

"I'll be leaving now."

"Don't be stupid, Takahiro. It's not worth you travelling to some hotel when-" Akihiko began.

"I promised Manami I would be down to her within the hour. She's resting in the car."

"This is all a bit much for you, especially in your condit… car?" Takahiro nodded at Akihiko, who could feel the growing tension from Misaki next to his brother.

Jaw clenched, Akihiko rose from the sofa.

"I insist you stay here. I'll go and get Manami. Misaki, I'm sure you can direct your brother to a room."

Misaki

_Can he read it in my face? Or is it just his own astute care for those he cares for? Either way… yet again… he's saving me and my brother from a possible amount of further stress. He's letting out his home. So. Selflessly._

"Yes…" Misaki stood up in a daze and leaned down to help his brother stand.

"Akihiko, honestly, Manami and I…" Akihiko's stony glare bore through Takahiro's false confidence. He knew Takahiro and Manami would only stay sleeping in the car outside. He could see the anxiety in Takahiro's eyes.

"You're staying here." _Thank you, Akihiko. Thank you._

Akihiko

The condo apartment was completely silent, completely motionless aside from the inevitable, though albeit pretty much undetectable, rise and fall of Akihiko's chest.

_Fine. So I can't be with him. Who says I can't continue to look after him and Takahiro for as long as I can? Was I meant to love Takahiro so that I would get to Misaki? Was it supposed to be some sort of 'if-you-get-this-one-you-get-the-prize' thing? It feels like it._

He knew he wasn't going to sleep. He knew he wasn't capable of writing the story he had begun the day Misaki had gone shopping- _damn, still need to pay him for going to get that food_- so he just sat. And waited.

Waited for it to be nine o'clock, the time Misaki would need to be up to go to school. He didn't know what he would do at that point- maybe drop him to school? Either way, he was going to make sure he spoke to the boy before Takahiro could. If this week had gone as fast as he felt it had, then he was ninety-nine percent sure that moving to America- probably the third busiest country in the world- wouldn't help to soothe Misaki's sensitive nerves.

He reached out for the packet of cigarettes on the table in front of him, propped one on his sticky bottom lip and slouched to the kitchen, where he opened the fridge and got out the milk.

Misaki had bought vegetables- evidently fresh vegetable because the ones Akihiko normally bought would turn stale pretty much the instant they touched the once unclean fridge. Now the fridge was clean. _What d'you know._ The vegetables almost shiny with their organicness… _That's not even a word, Akihiko._

Pouring the milk into a glass, he unstuck the cigarette from his mouth and put it on the counter, drinking the milk in one, keeping his neck bent back as he put the glass back on the counter in front of him. His chest heaved as he took yet another deep, melancholy breath. _I want that one…_ Akihiko thought as a vision of Misaki in his horribly cut suit, standing in the hallway on that press night, fizzed in his mind.

Just an hour before, he had watched Misaki help his brother up the stairs, with such care. He had taken him directly to his own room and then come back downstairs, said good night to Akihiko before going through a door from the living room to, Akihiko assumed, a spare room. Manami was with Takahiro. _Sweet little love birds..._

Putting the cigarette back in his mouth- _for something else to suck but him… fuck, Akihiko! Grow some decency would you_- he turned to go back to the living room, but it struck him he was going to need a lot more than dairy to dull his overwhelming lust. _Milk just isn't going to cut it._

Back to the fridge. Cigarette back on the counter. Fridge open. Eyes searching… searching… The bottle of white wine he had left there three nights before wasn't there. _Misaki… must have thrown it out. Or… no, he wouldn't not with Takahiro here._

Tense, Akihiko went back to the sofa in the living room and sunk into it, grumbling. _I'm making a big deal over nothing- sure, Misaki and I have been through a lot this week… probably seems bigger than it is on account of the fact that… well, it's coincidence, I'm sure._ He lit his cigarette with his green lighter and as he inhaled, allowing the smoke to tingle that back of his throat, he observed the lighter as though it was some precious ornament. _Taking him to that press night probably wasn't such a good idea... in all honestly, I probably took him out of some sort of need to show them that I wasn't as lonely a bastard as they all seem to think. He doesn't make me feel lonely though. I could make him feel..._ Akihiko's chest heaved a little quicker, his body slowly heating up..._ I could... can..._ Takahiro's smiling face prodded the corner of his mind. _Fucking won't._

The crashing of reasonable voices, lustful voices, stubborn voices and cold voices in his head reached an all time peak and with a fierce scowl on his face, he hurled the lighter over the kitchen cookers. Luckily, nothing caught fire. Dramatic as ever, Akihiko leaned back on the pillows of the sofa, with the thought, _Looks like I'll never even catch fire again. Looks like male fans for the rest of my life. Oh. Goodie._


	27. Taken

Part One is now finished, guys. So. This is the final chapter of part one. If you want to get notified about Part Two- and I am soooo happy if you do- then I think you have to subscribe to me as an author... which would be amazing... LoL. Anyhoo, I hope you enjoy the final chapter of part one =D

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Misaki

_Assuming, of course, that he'll take me… I think… I know. What I want. It's a thudding feeling, something I honestly don't recognise. Something I don't think I'll ever quite understand. But if a week has had this impact on me. Then. I think I want to know where it goes after this._

Misaki's head was bent over his bent knees, a green wine bottle in his floppy hand. The slim, shadowed room around him masked the secret flicker of excitement and elation in Misaki's chest.

_It would be hard, I know that. But I'm old enough. Takahiro wouldn't have to pay for me anymore. It would just. Be. I would just be. Happy._

He looked up as he heard the quiet but heavy footsteps of Akihiko going upstairs. It had comforted him to hear him moving around in the living room. What was more, it had sort of shocked him that he hadn't noticed Misaki's presence in the room through the main room.

_I'm eighteen. Eighteen is old enough to make my own decisions. And I Am. I Will. But Takahiro's disappointment… I so badly don't want that. Mum and Dad definitely wouldn't._

Swallowing, Misaki put the empty glass bottle down next to him and stretched out his legs.

_Is this growing up?_

Head fluffy with his slight intoxication, Misaki closed his eyes, running a hand through his warm hair. He recalled the scene he had Akihiko had had in the car when Akihiko had come to the bar.

_He's such a perve following me like that_. _You know you should just run. It's been no pleasure-cruise being here. He's dangerous… but God knows you like it, Misaki. Don't deny it. Do what you feel is right. Since when was accepting sweets from a practical stranger a good idea?_

He opened his eyes and they fell on the motionless figure of a bear on a shelf in front of him. The ear was slightly obscured by the large, leafy plant in front of it and its glassy eyes were admittedly a little scary in the dark. However, the small smile on the teddy's face seemed to bring Misaki to an abrupt conclusion.

Akihiko

Akihiko sat on the edge of his bed, kicking off his shoes, undoing his tie and falling back against the bed. His body draped over the bed, legs over one side and head lolling over the other. He had shut his door. It was dark in here. Just like he liked it. Just like he was going to have to get used to.

His jaw clenched as he realised he would have to release the tension building in his body. Otherwise, he knew- and he smiled coyly and bitterly with this knowledge- he would be more than grouchy tomorrow. He needed to put on his best fake smile tomorrow. Needed to be a solid figure Misaki could come to… if he wanted to.

His home was just as silent as it had been before anyone had come in and with one, clear face in his mind as he closed his eyes, he allowed his hand to slide down his chest, over his shirt. He started to pulse. He tried to re-experience the kiss he and Misaki had shared. That got him throbbing. He swallowed as his throat became anxiously tight. He imagined Misaki was here and that they were about to make love… taking off Misaki's top. _Please._ Kissing his shoulder. _Please_. Akihiko's index finger began to skim over his belt as he heard the way Misaki had gasped as he had stroked over his stomach, when they had kissed. _Ple-_ wait. He hadn't imagined that gasp.

Misaki

The vision of the man on his bed in an obviously prepared position made Misaki freeze in Akihiko's doorway. His tongue clicked uselessly on the roof of his mouth, eyebrows knitting together as he smiled, embarrassed.

Akihiko's eyes had snapped open as soon as he had gasped at seeing him and Misaki watched as Akihiko's alert face turned to one of warm affection. His hand slid to rest on his stomach. Luckily, no zips had been undone yet, so Misaki still had Akihiko's endowment to imagine and not see in reality (this imagining, which flitted in and out of his mind whenever Akihiko was around, still got Misaki blushing to himself).

"W-What are you doing?" Misaki choked, stupidly. Akihiko watched Misaki sideways, his head cocking towards to boy as he smiled some more. "Don't smile like that, you paedo! With me and m-my brother in the h-house!"

"What I was about to do wouldn't have awoken your brother- I do have some tactful restraint. Your shouting, however-" _I'm shouting?_ "May well do so."

Akihiko

_Just like the sun sparkles on your hair, the early morning blae shadows it… making you out to be darker than you really are. Hm._

Akihiko's throbbing had not stopped on Misaki's arrival. Indeed, the tempo had increased. He felt like he was an artist surveying the most perfect model. He hadn't felt this relaxed in a long time. Lying on his bed… watching Misaki's left eyebrow twitch every other milli-second.

"I'm not shouting!" Misaki hissed.

"You were, though," Akihiko countered. _Ahh, contentment, what gifts you bestow upon me_. Akihiko's voice was lazy and low as he argued with Misaki. Mainly, it was because he was so elated at seeing the boy. There was a silence. "Are you going to stand there all night?" Akihiko asked. "Because," he added, slyly, "your presence definitely wont deter me from my plan."

Misaki opened his mouth, eyes widening as he prepared to bark out another come-back. But something changed in his face, something sombre was added, which blew away the smirk on Akihiko's face.

"Misaki?" Akihiko's voice was serious, concerned. He almost sat up.

"Ianaayhoe." Akihiko blinked at Misaki's inaudible words. Akihiko didn't have to ask Misaki to repeat, because next minute, the boy's body sagged as he looked down at his feet. He took a deep breath and said it again. "I want to stay home."

Akihiko felt like his heart had stopped.

"In Japan?" He swallowed away the dream that Misaki was talking about staying in his home and made sure to clarify. "You better tell Takahir-"

"Here. In here-" Misaki blushed as he realised that may come across as here in Akihiko's room and backtracked- "Your home." Silence. "I don't want to impose… I mean… it's close to school and more convinient, obviously."

Misaki

"Obviously." Misaki flinched. Akihiko was standing right in front of him. The moment brought back memories of the first night Misaki had been here… Misaki had been shouting at him, Akihiko taunting him for… weari- "You're not wearing your contact lenses." Misaki's teeth clamped tightly together. _Reading my bloody mind again, if he starts to do that again I'll explode. Then I wont be able to stay here. Then he'll be sorry. Then he wont have his effing housemaid! Then_- Misaki's thoughts were halted. Akihiko had wrapped his strong arms around Misaki's shoulder, so hard that Misaki's nose was pressed hard against the side of Akihiko's bare neck.

"Akihi…ko! Can't brea-" Before Misaki knew it, he was draped over Akihiko's shoulder and the door of his bedroom was closed. Thrown down on the bed, Misaki began to scramble to get up, but Akihiko was already craned over him. Hands in fists on either side of Misaki's head. Knees touching both of his hips. Face. An. Inch. Away. Face so serious.

"You've been drinking. You had the last of my fucking wine, you waif." Misaki couldn't tell whether Akihiko was genuinely angry or not, so he just lay there and tried to distinguish some form of exact emotion in the man's amethyst eyes. Then, a smile spread out on his ashenly pale face. "Probably just Dutch Courage to come and see me, I suppose." Akihiko put the tip of his nose against Misaki's and smiled into his dark olive eyes. Misaki blinked several times, caught off-guard. Then, true to character, he glanced away, past Akihiko's arm.

"It was not. Dutch. Cour-" _Kiss_.

Akihiko

Akihiko's heart squeezed with joy as his lips softly pressed over Misaki's warm mouth and he breathed him in as he leaned on his elbows and stroked through Misaki's hot, silky hair. He felt Misaki tremble beneath him and a genuine, almost scary, pang of affection fused through every nerve in his body. The gravitas of the feeling almost knocked Akihiko out, but the fast rising of Misaki's chest kept him alert enough and kiss upward over Misaki's upper lip… and slide his tongue over it.

"Ah! You can't just-"

"Shush now." Akihiko fell onto his side, head pushed down into his pillow. He dragged Misaki up next to him and turned his body to the side so he could curl around his small frame. _This is it. This is where I am, where I belong, where I'm bloody staying._

"Don't tell me to shush!"

Misaki

"You've made your decision, Misaki. Stick to it."

"I'm not one of your bears!" Misaki tried to free himself from Akihiko's iron-like grasp. "You can't control…" He stopped. They'd had this conversation before. _It didn't end well for me. I was seduced. I remember._

They lay in secretly blessed silence.

_What would Mum and Dad think. Oh._ As his body shook of its own accord, Akihiko's cool breath tickling the back of his neck, a revelation spread through his head.

_Mum and Dad died in that car crash. Together. Takahiro was nearly killed… Takahiro told me, as I helped him into my bed, that one doctor had told him that if he hadn't leaned over Manami, neither of them would have survived… their position saved them, apparently. And. And Akihiko… our near crash. That was a huge sign and I didn't even see it. My crash was with him and he swerved us out of it and made damn sure the ones who had nearly harmed us… me… paid for it. That's… that's…_

"Misaki? You're so silent." Akihiko's low voice hummed over Misaki's skin and, merged with the distinct lavender and smoke, gripped Misaki's system like a drug. _How it's meant to be._

"Shut up," Misaki mumbled, though there was no malice in his voice. He just wanted to stay like this now. In Akihiko's strong arms. God only knew how frustrated Akihiko would make him. Then again, he knew some Angel up there was beaming with their little matchmaking decision. Misaki had only just begun beginning to deny it. He was tired. For now, he would accept it and enjoy it. And love it. Something told him the nightmare might disappear tonight. "Go to sleep."

No movement. Then, almost like a full stop at the end of a very long introduction, Akihiko leaned forward. And bit Misaki's shoulder, hard enough to feel Misaki's whole body tense and the whimper it elicited from the boy only confirmed Akihiko's desires.

The first bite had been taken.


End file.
